Catharsis
by Th3WitchingHour
Summary: The KH cast has been reborn with full memories of their past life, but they're not getting off that easy as Roxas's past comes back in more ways than one. Includes Gender-bending & Yaoi. Lemon? Maybe. DOESN'T SUCK! Akuroku, Zemyx, Het-pairings etc.R&R!
1. Tension

**A/N**: this is one of those plot bunnies that raped my mind until i agreed to at least start the story. i got a little into the second chapter before i decided to post this. i plan to update fairly quickly if people like this. i like to get things done sooner rather than later, i just have to work out where exactly i'm taking this.

and i feel i should mention, i'm not being homophobic by making Roxas a girl, i just like to torment him (i never really forgave him for leaving Axel and allowing Sora to kill his buddies coughDemyxcough).

**DON'T BE PUT OFF BY FEMALE ROXAS! **normally, i wouldnt like a female Roxas, but you can quote me when i say that 'my _female _Roxas has more balls than at least half the male Roxas's i have come across in fanfiction'. too often Roxas is presented as a very very feminine man. my Roxas may be a girl, but she can kick most male Roxas's pansy asses. read on, and i shall prove it or eat my words.

**Plot**: The KH cast has been reborn with full memories of their past life. Roxas, however, has been reborn as a girl. When Axel shows up the day of Demyx's gig at a local bar/club, well, what's a girl to do? And when the Organization (more specifically Roxas's) past starts coming back to haunt them, well, the shit hits the fan. Akuroku. Zemyx. RikuNami. SoKai. ZackxCloud and others.

**Disclaimer:** lol i so don't own kingdom hearts...

...

Roxas Strife really didn't mind being a girl. She had been of the female persuasion for the last 18 years and quite enjoyed it. The only discomfort came from the knowledge that she had once been, in a past life, a man. The worst part was that not only that most of her family and friends knew this, but no one else, as far as Roxas knew, had switched genders. Roxas remembered being in Organization XIII and she knew that she had acted manly enough during her short existence as a male Nobody. Though Roxas had been rather small and skinny in her past life, as well as in her current one, she didn't see that as a valid reason for her to suddenly be gender switched.

Roxas blames her memories for her personality. Granted, she liked herself, at least as much as any girl these days. But it was undeniable that she made a point to act less feminine than the average girl. She did not wear dresses. Her Aunt Larxene probably had the most fun with Roxas's gender change. Almost every Christmas since Roxas had been born, Larxene had taken it upon herself to give Roxas the pinkest, frilliest dress imaginable. Roxas, in turn, had begun to buy her dear aunt an assortment of masculine products: men's cologne, boxers, and just last year when she'd ordered a prescription of male enhancement drugs. It was a quiet battle between the two and, to be honest, Roxas didn't take too much offense to her aunt's teasing, verbal or otherwise. Since Larxene had gotten her heart, she'd become less of a sadistic bitch and more of just a bitch.

Roxas truly believed she hadn't changed much from the Nobody Roxas she remembered. Other than the gender change, much of her personality and habits hadn't changed. She still wore a lot of black, hung out with the same group of people, and had an affinity for keys. She even developed an odd obsession with the heavy metal band _The Organization_ (the significance of this was not lost on Roxas).

She also had a knack for sewing and affection for Romantic Comedies, but we're not going to talk about that.

Roxas had adopted a somewhat punk-rocker look. She made an effort to wear gender-neutral clothing for the most part. Spending a lot of time shopping in stores like Hot Topic and Cosmic, she naturally owned a lot of skull and band t-shirts, though she did not shy away from showing a little cleavage. Boy-in-a-past-life or not, Roxas was pretty damn proud of her sizable breasts, and was not afraid to show them off.

Aside from her clothing choices, Roxas made an effort to be a tomboy in her mannerisms as well. Though she wasn't particularly good at sports, she was still better than the average cheerleader or prep complaining about cramps to get out of playing dodge ball. She did have a knack for fencing, and spent the last three years of high school as the head of Twilight Town High's fencing team. Her twin brother, Sora, was also very skilled at fencing, but hadn't taken the liking to it that Roxas had.

Being a girl, Roxas was actually glad to be small and skinny. She was now pretty close to average height for a girl her age, and her skinny yet nicely shaped physique made Roxas very popular with both the boys and the girls.

Yes, even the _girls_ were hitting on her. She supposed it was to be expected, with her determinedly unisexual way of dressing at her angsty I-don't-take-shit-from-anyone attitude some of the student body were fairly convinced she was a lesbian. That, and because she'd never actually dated anyone before. After she was seen rejecting every man (and woman) that would be brave enough flirt with her, those who hadn't known her as the male Nobody Roxas suspected she might just be asexual. Or arrogant, the jury was still out on that one.

But as said before, most of her family and friends remembered her from Organization XIII, and even those who were not in the Organization had found out one way or another why Roxas was so determined to reject any possible suitor.

Axel.

Yes Roxas had kept her promise, she was waiting. It was hard to go through life seeing the people around her reuniting with lovers and friends while she sat around twiddling her thumbs and hoping that Axel won't be too surprised that Roxas was now no longer a "he".

Roxas made it very clear that she was not an emo. She did not go around cutting her wrists and writing death poems. But it was hard to avoid the angst when she remembered the pyromaniac. She couldn't help but wonder if fate was mocking her somehow, taking away the one person she wanted to be with more than anything, and changing her gender to boot.

It's frightening to think of how many nights Roxas would lie awake and wonder what happened to Axel. Why wasn't he here? Why hadn't she seen him yet? What would he say if he knew Roxas was a girl now? Would he still love her? Did he perhaps already know and had no intention of ever seeing her again? Was he even alive? Did he hate her? And then Roxas would undoubtedly fall into memories of the past, so to speak, thinking of her time in the Organization, her time with Axel, and the way she left it.

And that's when the guilt set in.

Roxas wasn't sure how she felt about leaving back then. At the time, she'd felt like she had no choice. Being a Nobody was hardly desirable, and she, Roxas, had remembered the uncontrollable need to be complete, to be whole again. She had been so different from the other Nobodies because Sora was still alive, and Roxas was uncontrollably drawn to Sora. Roxas was sure, in the end, that it had been worth it, she'd convinced herself of this over the past collection of years. Still, as she remembered her life before, with the Organization, with Axel, she could no longer comfortably deny that she had felt nothing for the redheaded Nobody. At the time Roxas had been convinced that Nobodies couldn't feel, but in her memories, she knew there was an unquestionable affection between herself and the pyro.

And every night she hoped Axel still felt it as much as Roxas did.

So Roxas waited. Just like she'd promised. For the past 18 years she's waited for the green-eyed pyro to find her. She'd imagined all the ways the meeting could go, good and bad. It was partly her fear of rejection that kept Roxas from actively seeking Axel out herself. Sure, she'd Google him from time to time, or search his name in a random school roster or on the 

internet or, if she was particularly bored or desperate, the phonebook, but it was difficult when she only knew his first name.

But her insecurities left her with very little self-motivation at times, and after putting time into searching for someone only to come up empty time and time again, she was often left more depressed than before. Her best friend Demyx had gotten her through some of the most difficult times. He'd perhaps been the only one who understood how close Axel and Roxas had been, and he knew how hard it was for Roxas to wait for someone she wasn't sure could accept her. But Demyx, ever the optimist, constantly assured her that Axel would stop at nothing to find Roxas again, and no matter what he would love Roxas just the same.

And now Roxas sat at the kitchen table. She'd returned home immediately after school and was desperate for some sort of distraction. It was still another 5 hours before Demyx would be playing at the club, and Roxas was having trouble keeping calm. Of course Demyx himself showed little to no signs of nervousness, and he'd jokingly told Roxas that morning that she was nervous enough for the both of them.

Roxas was pretty sure she was nervous enough for a couple dozen people at this point.

Roxas twirled a spoon in her hand anxiously and was just beginning to wonder if 5 hours would give her enough time to dig to China, and therefore relieve a hefty load of tension, when Sora bounded into the room, Kairi, Riku and Namine following close behind.

"Roxas!" Sora came up and embraced his twin sister affectionately before pulling away to look at her, a serious expression on his face. "How do you feel? Nervous?"

Roxas laughed and pushed Sora back gently so she could stand. The accompaniment of her friends was a welcomed distraction. "You're acting like _I'm _the one playing tonight, not Demyx."

"I know," he said, leaning against the table and folding his arms. "But it's a big deal and you're, like, best friends and all."

Roxas smiled. Sora had that effect on her. Even in her most crappy of moods she couldn't help but cheer up around her brother and his constantly sunny disposition.

"I'm nervous as fuck Sora," she ignored her brother's expression at her word choice. "Well, more anxious than anything. I just want everything to go well for him. God knows he deserves it."

Sora nodded, letting his sister's less than ladylike vocabulary go for the moment.

"You guys are coming tonight, right?" Roxas looked at the other three expectantly.

Kairi practically bounced on her heels. "Of course!" She chirped. "Where Sora goes, I go." She giggled as Sora sat down in one of the kitchen chairs and pulled her into his lap. "Besides, we want to support Demyx too you know."

Roxas ignored the twinge of jealousy she felt at seeing her brother and his girlfriend sitting so casually together. Once again they were united. Once again Roxas was left feeling empty, only this time, it wasn't because she lacked a heart.

"Yeah," Namine said, stepping forward and hugging Roxas in greeting. Namine was just about the only person outside her immediate family that Roxas would let inside her personal bubble. Namine had always been a source of comfort for Roxas. They were really close, and Namine has provided the kind of feminine support she needed when dealing with her memories. It's not to say that Roxas didn't like Kairi too, but the redheaded girl hadn't been there with the Organization, she hadn't been a Nobody. So needless to say, Roxas did not hesitate to return the embrace with sincerity.

The silver haired teen stepped forward into the kitchen, arms crossed. Roxas could hear the smirk in Riku's velvety voice when he said, "don't get too comfortable Nami, I'll get jealous."

Namine pulled away and smiled at her boyfriend. Riku would often joke about the possibility of Namine and Roxas running away together someday. This of course was based entirely on the fact that the two of them had been Sora and Kairi's Nobodies. Riku never seriously believed the two of them actually had any romantic feelings for each other. Riku's time dealing with Roxas and the Organization, however brief, had given him a pretty good insight into where Roxas's affections resided, and even though Riku and Roxas never really got along, he still had the decency to avoid the redhead's name.

Roxas scowled and tightened her grip protectively around Namine, letting out a quiet growl as she said, "Careful, Riku, cross me and I swear I'll kidnap Namine and elope."

Riku only rolled his eyes in response. He was well used to such idle threats from Roxas by now, and made no effort to retaliate.

"Come on you guys!" Sora said tightening his hold around Kairi and shifting her slightly. "Can't you two be in the same room without bickering?"

Riku and Roxas turned to Sora and said in near unison: "No."

Namine chuckled and patted Roxas's arm affectionately before returning to Riku and clasping her hand in his. "Sorry Roxas but I don't see marriage in our future."

Roxas rolled her eyes and said in a mock hurt voice, "B-but Namine! I thought you loved me! My heart…is broken." She clutched her chest and looked dramatically to the side.

Kairi giggled and snuggled against Sora who said, "Honestly, Roxas, you're never this cheery. I'm starting to worry…"

Roxas rolled her eyes and threw the spoon she was still holding back onto the table. "It must be the anxiety. Once Demyx's thing is over I'll be back to my usual angsty, passive aggressive, fuck-the-world-and-everyone-in-it attitude. Don't you worry."

Sora rolled his eyes and stood, allowing Kairi to hop off him so he could wrap his arms around her waist from behind. "Yeah, whatever, Rox. Listen, we're going to the grocery. There's no milk for breakfast and Dad's out of those cracker things he likes, then we're driving over to Demyx's before we head to the club. You comin'?"

Roxas shook her head. "No thanks. I have to shower and my clothes are still in the wash. Just come pick me up before you head over to Demyx's and I'll ride with you guys."

Sora shrugged and smiled. "Sure thing. Just make sure you're ready on time! I'll call you."

Roxas said her goodbyes and walked upstairs to take a shower. She moved her radio into the bathroom, hooking up her iPod and cranking the music louder then necessary, hoping the noise would distract her a little.

She spent a good 30 minutes in the shower, taking the time to thoroughly wash her hair, shave her legs, and just enjoy the warm mist knowing no one was home to complain about the water bill.

Stepping out of the shower she turned the music down slightly so she'd be able to hear the phone when her brother called, and padded down the hall to her room.

It was times like these she felt most aware of her femininity. Roxas stood in front of her closet, staring at the mass of clothing within, wondering what to wear. This wasn't some soccer game or high school party, this was important, and, dammit, Roxas wanted to look good!

She finally decided on a reasonably low cut black top painted with silver designs and sporting the Japanese symbol for "love". She pulled on a pair of dark jeans, slid into her purple checkered Vans and grabbed a set of wristbands off of her dresser. She'd left her favorite earrings at Demyx's place a few days ago and figured she'd pick them up when she got there. Running down the hall Roxas threw on her black hoodie and began rummaging in the bathroom for her eyeliner and mascara.

Roxas had applied the eyeliner, and was twisting the cap of the mascara when the phone rang. Letting her music play, Roxas raced down the hall, mildly surprised that it was her cell, not the house phone, that was ringing. She'd assumed Sora would call the house, since he knew she was home, but upon picking up her phone she realized it was Demyx, not Sora, who was calling her.

Flipping the phone open she held it up to her ear. "Hello?"

"Rox?"

Roxas frowned at the cautious uncertainty in her friend's voice. "Hey, Demyx. What's up? You okay?"

There was a pause on the other side and Roxas unconsciously bit her lip. Demyx's mood was making her very uneasy. Perhaps the nerves had finally caught up with him?

Even Roxas didn't believe that.

"Uh, well…" Roxas could almost see Demyx shuffling nervously. "Uh, hey, Roxas, you remember, um…Axel?"

Roxas could feel her face pale at the mention of Axel. Demyx knew good and well Roxas remembered him, and Demyx's attitude along with his awkwardness made Roxas panic slightly. She immediately went to worst-case scenarios. He's dead. He's married. He never existed in the first place (well, that one was sort of true, but whatever). Roxas reached out and steadied herself against her dresser gripping the phone tightly and trying to stay calm.

"Yeah…" Her voice was husky and breathless. She wasn't sure if she wanted to hear what was coming next.

"Well, I just saw him."

It was a moment before Roxas was able to form coherent thought. "You…you what?"

"Yeah, he stopped by my place about five minutes ago. He was looking for you. Said he found my address in the phonebook after he saw I was playing at the Oblivion tonight. I…gave him your address..."

Roxas's brain was screaming. Axel. _Axel_ was coming. Here. Now. She didn't even have time to be embarrassed over the girlish panic she was only barely able to suppress.

"Oh, God…"

"I'm sorry!" Demyx cried frantically. "I didn't know what to do! I knew you'd want to see him, and I knew you were coming over here later but I figured it be better if you two talked alone and you-"

"No," Roxas mumbled dully sliding to the floor. Her body was practically overflowing with emotions right now, the most prominent ones being anticipation and fear. Unconsciously Roxas fingered the key necklace she was wearing. "No, Demyx, I'm glad you did. Um…Y-You didn't tell him that…that I'm a girl did you?"

"No! No! I thought, well, I thought you'd want to tell him yourself, right? …Should I have said something, you think?"

Even as her insides were melting into a boiling pool of panic and death she found time to smile slightly at Demyx's worry. "No I'm glad you didn't. I wouldn't want you freaking him out and then him…not coming or whatever." She shivered, hesitating slightly before asking her next question. "Um…how did he, uh…" she sighed heavily. "How did he look, Dem?"

Roxas could hear the slight smile in the man's voice. "Same as always, Roxie."

Roxas shut her eyes, ignoring the nickname, and smiled into the receiver. "Thanks." She paused. "Look Demyx I'd better go. If he's coming I'm gonna need a few moments to mentally and emotionally prepare myself."

"He'll still love you, Rox."

Roxas opened her eyes and mumbled an uncertain, "I hope so."

"Call me afterwards, ok?" There was a firm seriousness to his tone.

Roxas stood, walking down the hall and towards the front door, intending to sit on the porch and await the man who would effectively determine her future happiness.

Her voice shook a little. "Of course." She unhooked her iPod, silencing the music, and slid it into her jacket pocket. Placing an earphone in one ear she headed towards the foyer.

"And, seriously, Roxas, if you can't make it tonight, for whatever reason, I _totally _understand!"

Roxas could hear the sincerity in his voice. Demyx's first gig was tonight, and here he was, telling his best friend she didn't have to go just because she was possibly about to be rejected by the only man she will ever love.

"Don't be stupid, Demyx. No matter how emotionally devastated I am I _will_ be there tonight. _Promise_."

Roxas didn't miss the happiness in the man's voice. "Good luck, Roxas."

Roxas nodded even though she knew Demyx couldn't see. She reached out and pulled open the front door. "Yeah, thanks. I-"

The whole world seemed to stop as Roxas took in the sight before her. There standing on the porch, one hand hovering over the doorbell, was Axel.

...

**A/N** cliffhanger. mm delicious. so, whatcha think, worth continuing? i like Roxas in this, boy or not, he's still pretty kick ass. i know the beginning was a little crappy...but it'll get better if you REVIEW. just tell me what u liked, hated, and if i should bother finishing it. i have no plans as far as how many chapters to make this. if i do decide to continue, i might revise this a bit (i'm really not that proud of the beginning, i struggled a bit with it, but...acceptable). i'll gladly take suggestions for that too.


	2. We meet again

**A/N: **I updated quickly 'cus i already had most of this chapter written, so i thought, lets post it. this is it tho, i have nothing else written as of yet. but i will update asap.

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing but the plot.

...

Roxas was sure she'd spontaneously combusted. Her whole body tingled and screamed as she locked gazes with the man she knew so well yet had never technically met in this life. She had to concentrate hard to remain standing, quite a feat at this point seeing as her mind had pretty much turned to mush by now. Dully she realized her breathing had become shallow and ragged, and she vaguely contemplated the possibility of fainting.

Demyx was right. He looked exactly like she remembered. He had the same spiky red hair, though it might have been a bit shorter than before. The teardrop-like tattoos were engraved on his cheekbones, right where they were supposed to be. She'd remembered tracing them with her fingertips a dozen times before. His eyes were the same vibrant green. They always reminded her of glass, like if she gazed at them too long they would shatter. His eyes always made her feel refreshed and thirsty at the same time. Axel's gaze bore into her, filled with more emotion than she could've imagined. Dully she noticed even his scent was the same, a delicious mixture of leather and spice. God, how she missed it.

It took a moment for Roxas to realize Demyx was still talking to her. "Uh, I'll call you back."

She shut the phone without waiting for an answer and let it slide out of her hands onto the floor. She was unable to remove her gaze from Axel. Taking down every detail of his face hungrily, hoping to heaven this wasn't her only chance.

She really had to beat down the urge to embrace the man. But, if he hadn't _already_ noticed Roxas was no longer a boy, due to the larger than necessary hoodie, pressing her chest against him would probably raise a couple of questions.

"R-Roxas?"

His voice was scratchy, but even in a half whisper, after all this time, she recognized it.

"Axel."

Roxas kept her voice low, not that she felt she could speak at a reasonable volume at this point. She wasn't sure if Axel realized the gender change yet, and she really didn't want to give herself away before she had a chance to tell Axel the truth on her own.

Axel dropped his hand and took a step towards her. Roxas felt her breath hitch in her throat. It was all she could do not to jump the redhead right here. Now that she saw him, now that she had him back at last, she was certain that if he left her now it would kill her.

"Roxas I-" He reached out to her but before he could finish his thought, they heard the back door fly open and Sora's voice ringing through the house.

"Roxas?! Hey, Roxas? You ready yet?"

Roxas froze, not sure what to do. She _really_ couldn't deal with Sora right now.

Roxas turned around when she heard Sora jogging toward her. He rounded the corner, still shouting her name. When his gaze fell on the pair, however, he skidded to a halt, silencing himself and staring wide-eyed first at Axel standing in the doorframe, then at Roxas.

"Uh." Sora seemed to struggle with something before turning around completely and power walking in the other direction. "Ok! Roxas isn't here, Kairi! Sh-Roxas must've left without us! Roxas is defiantly not here! Let's go!"

Kairi trotted into the room just in time to catch a glimpse of Axel before she gasped. She didn't have time to do much else before Sora grasped her arm and tugged her back around.

"Nope! Roxas has left! I'm sure she-Roxas will meet us at the club! We'll see her-im, um, we'll see Roxas later!" And with that, the back door slammed shut and an awkward silence consumed the two still staring after Sora and Kairi.

Had the situation not been so nerve racking, Roxas was sure she'd find it quite hilarious. Her brother's distressed shouts and obvious attempt at not referring to Roxas as a "she" was comical at the very least. However, the seriousness of the situation stifled and laughter that may have thought to bubble up at Sora's actions. She hoped that one day she'd be able to look back on this and laugh.

Before Roxas had time to turn, they heard someone bounding down the steps. A moment later, Riku strode into the room.

"Hey, Sora! Where-" Riku froza and raised a brow at Roxas. "Roxas? I thought Sora…said…oh."

Riku's gaze shifted over Roxas's shoulder at Axel.

Roxas groaned quietly. If anyone was going to screw this up, it would be Riku. They were civil with each other, sure, but there was just enough tension between them that Roxas wouldn't be surprised if Riku spilled the beans and ruined this for her. Regardless of their common relationship with Sora, the memories of the past were difficult to ignore. Roxas couldn't help but blame Riku, and she'd suspected that her presence only further reminded Riku of his guilt. Sora and Kairi may have gotten over his betrayal, but Riku hadn't.

"Riku…" Roxas's abandoned her pride and allowed a bit of pleading to enter her voice.

Riku only smiled in response. It wasn't the sarcastic, mocking smile Roxas usually received. No, this one was small, but it was real.

"We'll meet you at the club tonight, ok, Roxas?"

Roxas was slightly taken aback but managed a tiny nod, afraid that any sudden movements would break the spell and provoke the silver-haired teen's wrath.

But Riku only turned and threw a wave over his shoulder. "Make sure to tell Namine I was nice to you!"

Roxas scowled in response, unable to stop herself from shouting, "It doesn't count if you're just doing it for brownie points!" She called after him. She faintly heard him chuckle as he walked out the back door.

She stood like that a moment, staring after Riku, her back to Axel. Roxas knew she had to tell Axel quickly. The sooner she got it over with the sooner she could deal with whatever came next.

Collecting her resolve, she turned around, mouth open, confession on her lips. But before she could speak Axel's silvery voice interrupted her.

"I feel like I'm missing something important here." He chuckled awkwardly and scratched the back of his head. A gesture Roxas has seen a thousand times before. He stopped and looked seriously at her. "You're different."

Roxas stilled. So he'd noticed, not that she shouldn't be surprised.

"Ha ha…yeah…a little, I suppose…" Roxas slumped her shoulders and stared at the floor. "Um, come on inside. We should…I need to tell you…something."

Axel nodded and stepped through the threshold allowing Roxas to shut the door behind him. She immediately backed up a few steps, determined to keep her distance from Axel until she got her confession out properly.

"Should I be nervous?"

Roxas laughed a little at this. "Uh, well, I don't know. It's really not that big a deal, but…it's kinda…important, or whatever."

Roxas did not miss the tension in the redheaded shoulders. Her heart thumped loudly in her chest. She had to do it. Now.

"Uh well," Roxas had to force herself to hold Axel's gaze. "You know we were all, like, reborn with hearts and shit?"

Axel cocked a brow and nodded slowly, clearly unsure as to where Roxas was going with this.

Roxas sighed. "Well, when I was…reincarnated or whatever, I guess God, or whoever the hell it was, thought it'd be kind of funny if I was brought back as, well…a girl."

There it was. Roxas said it. She watched as Axel's eyes widened and his jaw dropped slightly at her confession. There was a moment where no one moved. Then-

"Oh my god! That's fucking hilarious!" Axel burst into a loud laughter that filled the house and brought a bright red blush to Roxas's cheeks. She only dully noticed through her embarrassment that at least Axel hadn't bolted out the door.

"What's so funny?" She said through gritted teeth. When Axel only shook his head and wrapped his arms around his stomach Roxas lifted a fist and punched Axel hard in the shoulder. "Don't laugh at me, asshole!"

"Hey!" Axel grumbled, a large grin plastered on his voice, rubbing his abused shoulder. "God, Roxas, even as a girl your punches still hurt." When Roxas only scowled Axel's grin grew slightly. "Same old Roxas. I knew something was different about you."

Roxas cocked a brow, still a little pissed off but relieved the redhead hadn't rejected her. Yet. "What, am I that obvious?"

Axel straightened, managing to lower his grin to a regular smile. "Well, you do look a little more, ah…feminine than I remember."

Roxas narrowed her baby blue eyes. "_More _feminine?" Her tone was calm but dangerous. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well," even Axel looked a little cautious. "You were always kinda…small and soft and whatever."

Roxas clenched her jaw, anger rising. "Soft?"

"Well, yeah, like, your skin, you know?"

Roxas pursed her lips but decided to take it as a compliment.

"Besides," Axel took a step back before continuing, "you PMSed more than Larxene, and she was crazy."

Roxas growled, and raised a fist fully prepared to beat the taller man into a coma.

"Whoa! Whoa!" Axel held his hands up in mock surrender. "I'm just kidding, you know? But, seriously," Axel looked Roxas over, "it's pretty obvious."

Roxas raised a brow but still kept up an offensive stance. "What is?"

"The whole girl thing." Axel gestured with one of his still raised hands. "Your hair's longer, though you still have the bangs and managed to make it do that," he made a movement with his hand, "flippy thing."

"It does that on its own…"

"Yeah, well." He looked studied her a moment. "It's hard to tell with the hoodie, but your shoulders aren't as wide, and those," he pointed at Roxas's waist, "are defiantly girlish hips."

Roxas scoffed, dropping her hands and crossing her arms over her chest. "You're one to talk."

Axel chuckled, dropping his hands as well, and stood akimbo. "Well, my hips don't lie…" He narrowed his eyes seductively at Roxas before adding, "got it memorized?"

Roxas rolled her eyes only barely fighting back a surge of laughter. "You and your damn catchphrase."

Axel just grinned. "You like it."

"Uh, huh. Well, so," Roxas looked at Axel intensely "you're…okay with this?"

Axel's grin fell and his face became serious. "You…being a girl?" He saw Roxas nod. "Well, it's certainly…weird."

Roxas felt her heart collapse at his words. She was being rejected, she just knew it.

"But I –"

Axel's words were cut off, much to Roxas's dismay, when the door behind Axel was thrust open, revealing a tall, familiar figure that made Roxas pale slightly and Axel's eyes widen.

Upon seeing Axel standing in the entryway, the man froze.

...

**A/N: **ok, lame ending. but i wasnt sure how to stop this. most of my ideas right now are dialogue heavy (as this is) and i know people dont like that.i have an idea where to take this i'm just...not sure how i'm gonna get there, but it seems this fic is gonna end up being a lot longer than the three or four chapters i originally intended. so reviews are crucial. i really appriciate them.

thanks again for reading! now...time to review! (PLEASE?)


	3. I don't know

**A/N: **ugh, i know this chapter is short, but i'm trying to get through all the talking and to the action or whatever, but the reviews for this are...lacking, to say the least. so, honestly I NEED MORE MOTIVATION (FYI MOTIVATIONREVIEWS!!). i really intend for this story to pick up a bit, sorry its so dialogue heavy, but i'm working to stop that asap, as in this chapter is hopefully the last one that's like, talktalktalkpivottalk. you get me.

**Disclaimer: **uh, no, i don't own kingdom hearts. lack of akuroku smexme no own.

...

"S-Superior?" Axel spoke incredulously.

Roxas fought the urge to run from the increasingly awkward moment. "Dad?"

Axel's head whipped around so fast Roxas was surprised he hadn't completely lost his balance – or broken his neck. "Dad?!"

Indeed Xemnas stood in the doorway, looking down at the two with mild shock lining his sharp features. His hair was still long and the same platinum white, which drastically contrasted his tan skin, making it seem darker than it was. His eyes, however, did not hold the same blatant, fury that they did when he lead the Organization.

Xemnas's eyes darted back and forth between the two before settling on Axel. He took a moment to stare at the redhead before addressing him with a slow yet powerful voice.

"Number Eight?"

Axel was clearly at a loss for words, he tried to say something several times, but never quite managed coherent language until he said, a little too loudly, "Xemnas is your father?!"

Roxas sighed and placed her head in her hands. It was stressful enough _before _her father decided to suddenly burst through the door of his own house all unexpectedly. Don't people call anymore?

"Yes, I am." Xemnas drawled, taking a step forward into his house and shutting the door behind him. He gave Roxas a calculating look before turning to Axel. "It's been awhile, Axel. Exactly when did you get here?"

Axel just stared, mind obviously working a little slower than usual. Roxas imagined it must have been pretty unnerving to suddenly be confronted by the ruthless leader of an Organization he had not only once been a part of but betrayed. And no matter how different the situation this time, Roxas knew her father could be more than intimidating in most circumstances.

"Uh…I just got here."

Xemnas looked between the two of them, his face carefully blank.

"And what, exactly, have you two been doing?"

Roxas let out an embarrassed cry before Axel could decipher what Xemnas meant. As leader of the Organization, Xemnas had not been unaware of Axel and Roxas's 'relationship', and now, it was only natural for Xemnas to be suspicious, and a little protective of his only daughter.

Regardless, Roxas was unable to stop herself from blushing. "Dad for the love of God! We've just been talking."

Xemnas's eyebrows rose at Roxas's outburst. There was a moment where no one spoke, the only sound being Axel's awkward mumbling as he tried to deal with the situation.

Then he smiled. Roxas saw Axel jump at the sight, which was understandable, all the Organization XIII members had learned quickly enough that it was never a good sign when Xemnas smiled.

The look on his face this time, however, was genuine and filled with an innocent humor that Roxas was quite used to by now.

"Well, carry on then. I just came home to see if you needed a ride tonight."

Roxas shook her head. "No, thanks." Since Sora had taken the car, she wasn't really sure _how _she was planning on getting to the club tonight, but she'd sooner run naked through the streets than endure ten minutes in the car with Axel and her father. This was awkward enough.

Xemnas surveyed the two for a moment longer before nodding. "Alright. You two should hurry and be on your way then." He made a motion with his hand. "You want to get there early."

Roxas nodded, shuffling her feet slightly. "Uh, yeah we were just leaving. Demyx should be there early to set up, so we can meet him."

"I'm disappointed I have to miss it." Xemnas stepped past the two and dropped off his coat. "Apologize to Dem for me will you, Roxas?"

Again, Roxas nodded, desperate to get out of this situation and talk to Axel in private. She reached out and grabbed his hand, gripping it tightly to hide the fact that she was shaking. She pulled a slightly disoriented Axel towards the door, stopping only when she heard her father speak again.

"Oh and, Axel?"

Axel turned his head and stared at his former Superior.

Xemnas smiled again, however this one looked a bit more threatening. "I may have gotten over the 'betrayal'," Axel flinched, "but Roxas is my daughter." He narrowed his eyes. "And I expect you to be a gentleman."

Roxas was sure at that moment that she was going to die of humiliation. In the back of her mind she silently thanked the heavens that she had never had a boyfriend before. Xemnas had become quite the protective father, and it embarrassed the hell out of her.

"We're leaving!" Roxas shouted before pulling Axel out onto the porch and shutting the door behind them.

Letting go of Axel's hand, though not without a twinge of regret, Roxas turned away from him and started walking down the sidewalk, trusting Axel to follow.

After a moment Axel fell in step beside her. Still a little dazed. "Well, that was weird."

Roxas grunted in confirmation, her gaze trained to the sidewalk. This wasn't exactly how Roxas hoped her little reunion with her former…'best friend' would go. And after all this time of fighting feminine stereotypes, Roxas had defiantly never felt more like a nervous high school girl than she did right now.

All of a sudden, Roxas stopped, waiting until she heard Axel stop as well before looking up. Dammit, this is where she needs to start acting like a man…well, sort of. She'd waited long enough to talk to Axel, and she was determined not to wait any longer.

"Hey, Axel."

Axel turned to face her, expression unreadable. "Yeah?"

"Do you, um…" God, she felt ridiculous, "what the hell are we doing?"

Axel gave her a curious look. "Going to see Demyx?"

Roxas glared at him. "That's not what I meant, Axel." She crossed her arms over her chest and forced herself to get through this conversation. "I'm asking you what you and me are doing."

Axel gave her a blank look, though she knew he understood what she was getting at. Still she decided to play along.

"Axel, back in the Organization, we…well, hell you know what we did! We went _way _beyond the boundaries of friendship, and I'm asking you where that leaves us now."

Axel's face paled. He shifted uncomfortably and seemed to have trouble looking her in the eyes. "Uh, Rox, I-"

"No, no." Roxas waved her hand, signaling him to stop. She felt an excuse coming on, and that's not what she wanted. Roxas had always been a very blunt, get-to-the-point kind of person. She wanted a straight and honest answer from the redhead. "I'll make this easy on you." She stood akimbo, and he seemed a little intimidated by her, even though she was still a good head shorter than him. "Before I left," Roxas saw Axel's pale green eyes sadden slightly, "you told me you loved me, even though we didn't have hearts." Axel's eyes had widened. "What I'm asking you now is _'do you still love me'_?"

If Axel had looked uncomfortable in front of Xemnas, he looked twice as awkward now. "Look, Roxas, it's not that-"

"No!" Roxas almost shouted. She had to struggle to keep herself from breaking down at the sound of oncoming rejection. "Axel I don't want excuses! I'm a big girl, dammit, and I don't need you to sugarcoat things for me! It's a simple question: _yes or no_?"

Axel met her gaze. Roxas suddenly felt the years the spent they'd apart more than ever. There was a time when Roxas knew Axel better than she knew herself, as cliché as that sounds. But now Axel's face was more unreadable to her than ever. Perhaps that was because they didn't have hearts before?

"Roxas, I…" Axel hung his head a little, shoulders drooping. "I don't know."

As these words hit Roxas she was sure that whatever heart she'd obtained had just withered and died in her chest. Though she found some small comfort in the fact that Axel hadn't just rejected her here and now, she still couldn't help how broken she felt at that moment.

However, Roxas was and always had been a professional at guarding her emotions. So her face was kept carefully stoic as she nodded. "Fair enough."

"Roxas…" Axel started, looking a little uncertain.

Roxas just shrugged. "look, I understand." Did she? "Let's deal with this later, Demyx will be playing soon, and I'm honestly stressed enough…"

Axel stared at her a moment longer before nodding slowly, and the two of them continued walking.

Roxas cleared her throat. She couldn't handle silence right now, and even though she had possibly just lost the one man she'll ever love, she was still pretty happy to see him. They _had _been best friends, once upon a time.

"So, Axel, where the hell have you been, exactly?"

...

**A/N: **lol, REAL PLOT IS COMING! right now it's just talking and shit. next chapter is gonna be mostly action and that's where the fun begins, i hope. but seriously if i don't get MORE REVIEWS i wont update as often. i need motivation. even if it's just critisizm. i do care about what u think as far as writing style and how i portray characters. is it fluid? boring as hell? got suggestions for upcoming chapters?

REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW, PLEASE! (i use caps so the people who don't read author's notes know what i want from them: REVIEWS...do i sound desperate?)


	4. Escape

**A/N: **Ugh! sorry these chapters are so short! i keep thinking i'll make long chapters, then i dont. sorry. but i'll get them out quicker if i just do something like one scene for each chapter. of course later, i might make the chapters longer, we'll see...we'll see. anyway, this chapter felt a little rushed, my back is killing me and it might've effected my patience. anywho, lot less dialogue in this chappy! and, OMG, is that a plot i see forming? oh it is...it is...

**Plot: **the story's antagonist appears! yay! plot! :)

**Disclaimer: **Roxas wasn't the protagonist of KH, so...i think it's obvious i don't own it.

Read, Enjoy, and Review! (in that order)

...

A pale figure lay motionless in a darkened room. He wasn't sure what he was doing in this place, all he knew was that he had to get out. He'd been planning his escape for weeks now, but the medication and heavy security had hindered his previous attempts.

This time, however, he would be clearheaded and quick.

There was no time to waste, he had work to do after all, and there was little he could accomplish while still trapped here, wherever that may be.

Listening carefully from his spot on the bed, the man waited for the familiar figure to approach his door. There were no clocks, or even windows, in the room, so he had no idea what time it is, but judging by how long he'd been laying there, he knew someone would be by soon. He could hear distant shouting down the hall, and quiet sobs coming from the room next to him, but this was nothing new, so he ignored those sounds for now, intent only on listening for the footsteps of the woman who would enter his room at any moment. When the door finally creaked open the man couldn't help but tense.

It was time.

"Sir?" The sickeningly familiar woman approached his bed and flicked on the light, a smile graced her lips as she held a clipboard to her chest and stared at the man. "It's almost midday; would you like me to walk you down to the living area?"

The pale man nodded curtly and stood, too nervous to speak, though he was more than confident that his plan would be executed flawlessly.

He followed the short, dark-haired nurse down the hall into the common room. God, how he hated this place. The beige paint-peeling walls, the molding carpet…the smell. He suppressed a shudder. He would not miss it.

The nurse gave him a cheery wave before bounding off towards the desk.

Calmly scouting the room for a familiar head of hair, the man finally spotted a platinum-haired man a few strides away by one of the dingy windows. The figure stood erect, staring blindly out the window with a certain, undeniable air of importance. Another man, slightly shorter and with a dulling brown head of hair seemed to be talking to the platinum haired gentleman, but was no doubt simply reciting his favorite play again. That's all he ever really did, it seemed.

Our protagonist approached the two, feeling his confidence rise with every step. He knew this plan of his would work. He stopped just beside the platinum haired man, waiting for the other to speak and ignoring the brown haired man entirely.

"What business do you have here?"

He tried not to shiver under the man's gaze, he was very intimidating, but there was no time for that. The brown haired male continued to mumble lines under his breath, his gaze not really focused on anything in particular.

The pale man smirked arrogantly and turned to the platinum haired man, standing in a very challenging stance. This wouldn't be difficult. "I've heard rumors about you." He said casually.

The other man sneered, swinging his abnormally long hair as he turned to face the pale man addressing him. Anger etched in his features.

"What, _rumors_?"

The pale man met his gaze. "They say you're not human," he paused to glance at the door, making sure the bubbly nurse was still standing by the desk. "_They _seem to think you're some kind of…monster."

The anger on the man's face turned to fury in the matter of an instant. He lunged forward, placing a harsh blow on the other man's cheek, sending him crashing painfully to the floor.

Warm blood trickled down his chin. He held back a victorious grin as the platinum haired male bent down, grabbing the bleeding man's shirt and yanking him upward, inciting a painful cry from the paler figure.

He slammed the man against the window. "A monster, huh?" The figure pulled a fist back and was about to continue attacking when a shrill cry was heard from behind him.

"Sephiroth!" (**A/N**: dun-dun-duuuuuh-nuh, _Seph-i-roth_!)

The nurse ran forward with two security guards and restrained Sephiroth. While the two guards dragged Sephiroth back towards his room, the nurse turned on the other man who had now slumped to the floor, feeling the blood from his head seep into his clothing.

She bent down, "Are you alright?" She shook her head, answering herself with a mumbled, "of course you're not," before he had time to respond. She pulled a small phone off her belt and began talking into it. Her words weren't important so he ignored her, vaguely hoping he didn't have concussion. There certainly _was_ a lot of blood…

Another man walked briskly through the doors and looked around for the nurse. She noticed him first and called out to him.

"Leon!"

The man named Leon approached the two, looking between them before his gaze finally settled on the girl.

"What happened here, Yuffie?"

The nurse, Yuffie, shook her head. "I'm not sure. The two of them were just standing by the window and, I guess he must've said something because then Sephiroth just went crazy and started punching him." They both looked at the man still sitting on the floor. "We need to get him to the doctor."

Leon nodded, bending down wordlessly and helping the other man up. Together, the three of them walked down a long hallway, stopping at the very last door and knocking quietly.

An elderly man opened the door and stared at them. A few words were exchanged, explaining the situation, before Leon and Yuffie left, leaving the man alone with the doctor.

The doctor made a motion for the man to set himself down on the table. He did as he was told and shifted himself so he had a straight-on view of the window. He had only been in this office a few times before, and gathered that they couldn't have been more than a story or two off the ground. Not to mention the glass wasn't reinforced like the windows in the common room, this window was meant to be opened…

The doctor scowled, not bothering to hide his distaste as he started to clean the man's wounds, making no effort to be gentle. He examined the injury on the back of the pale man's head, saying that it didn't seem serious, before walking towards the sink and dumping the bloodstained cloths into a bin and searching the cabinets for bandages.

The other man waited patiently, watching the doctor's every move. He'd only get one shot at this, and he had to get it right. When the doctor's back was turned, the patient slid silently off the examining table and approached him from behind. As the doctor turned back with gauze in hand, the other male punched him hard across the skull, sending him into an unconscious heap on the floor.

The man grinned victoriously and turned to the window. Yes, this was easier than he thought. Making quick work of the lock using one of the doctor's instruments, the man shoved the window open quietly, sticking his head out into the cool spring air.

Looking down he saw, much to his own delight, that the doctor's office was, indeed, only on the second floor. Scanning the area, and seeing no one else about, he shot one more glance at the still unconscious doctor before swinging his legs over the windowsill and throwing himself outside.

He landed with a dull thud, freezing a moment and keeping low to the ground, in case anyone noticed his decent. When no alarms were raised he crouched low and scurried off into the trees, silently congratulating himself and making a mental note to dispose of his soiled clothing before anyone noticed he was gone.

He didn't want the dogs smelling his blood.

...

**A/N: **so yeah, don't know how proud i am of it. it's too short but i wanted to get it posted and i didnt wanna drag it out any more than it needed to be. was it too confusing? not using names? i might rework this later, dunno. Demyx and Zexion are coming up in the next chapter. yay!

REVIEWS MOTIVATE ME TO WRITE! (seriously, i dont see reviews and i'm like..."i'll write later"...)


	5. Reunion of sorts

**A/N: **Remember those long chapters I talked about? Well, here's one, sorta. It felt long writing the thing. For everyone who reviewed: I fucking _love _you guys. My reviews are _slowly_ (but surely) going up and I'm ecstatic. I hope everyone will continue to read this, and for everyone who hasn't reviewed yet, I ask you: **why the hell not**?

I don't know, I'm really starting to like this story (what? I like something _I _wrote?! Apocalypse?!).

**Plot:** Ok so, whoo! Back to Axel and Roxas! Now we get to bring in some of the other KH and FF characters.

**Disclaimer**: The story is _mine_. Kingdom Hearts (and Final Fantasy)…are **not**.

…

Axel had lied.

Axel had lied through his stupid fucking teeth. '_I don't know'_. Hah! Ridiculous, of course he knew! But in a fit of panic and self-preservation he'd told Roxas he wasn't sure if he still felt the same. Because, in the back of his mind he thought: what if Roxas is too different now?

But in the short time he'd come to know this 'new' Roxas it was already abundantly clear that little had changed. Roxas still scowled when Axel referred to her as 'Roxie', still rolled her eyes at his catchphrase, still walked purposefully, with a bit of a strut, even when she wasn't heading anywhere in particular…

Yeah, he still loved Roxas. Roxas could be a boy, a girl, hell, Roxas could turn into the damn Loch Ness monster and Axel would still love the kid, (it'd be hard, but they'd make it work somehow).

The rest of their walk had Axel explaining his life up until now. He'd moved to Destiny Islands at the tender age of 4, just before starting Kindergarten, with his parents and older brother Reno. From then, he'd spent most of his high school career searching for Roxas. Unfortunately, when looking through directories and such, he'd been searching for a boy, and because Axel hadn't known Roxas's last name, his search was hindered. He'd finally found a kid named 'Sora' living in Twilight Town, and, after graduating Destiny Islands High, set out to find him, believing he must know Roxas's whereabouts. When he arrived, Axel had passed the bar and seen Demyx's name on the sign, looking up his address, Axel found Demyx and through him, finally found Roxas.

Axel had been really nervous, to put it lightly. He'd spent his life longing for the day when he could be reunited with the only person he'd ever really cared about. It was quite a journey between Destiny Islands and Twilight Town, and with all of the travel time Axel had (he was way too broke to afford plane tickets) his paranoid mind had plenty of time to panic over every little "what if?": What if Roxas didn't remember him? (It'd happened before). What if Roxas didn't love him? What if Roxas was already in love with someone else? What if Roxas was straight? (Though Axel supposed in this case, it'd be a good thing). What if Roxas was 

eighty? What if he was eight? What if he was dead? Never existed? What if he came in contact with toxic chemicals that turned him into some kind of radioactive, flesh-eating zombie?...But with all the worst-case-scenarios he'd considered, Roxas being a girl hadn't really occurred to him.

And, honestly, Axel didn't care. What difference did it make? He'd already acknowledge the fact that Roxas was still Roxas. He-_She _didn't even look all that different. Not to mention Roxas was the same angsty, get-in-my-face-and-I'll-beat-the-shit-out-of-you kind of kid that he'd known in the Organization.

And dammit Axel loved her.

God, Axel felt stupid. But he'd panicked. Why? Even he wasn't sure. Why, all of a sudden, did he feel so awkward in Roxas's presence? Before, in the Organization, he had no trouble telling Roxas how he 'felt'. There was no clumsiness, no second guessing himself, no…fear? But now he felt himself shying away from her gaze, fidgeting when they got too close, and he couldn't shake this dual feeling of desperation and contentment when Roxas smiled at him.

Perhaps, this is how it feels? Having a heart…

So why couldn't he say it? Why couldn't he look Roxas in the eyes and tell her that, yes, he _did_ love her, and that he'd still love her in the next life and the one after that, and the one after that…

But, alas, before he could muster up the fortitude to confess his perpetual love for her, (or at least ravish her against the nearest brick wall), they'd arrived at the same club where Axel had seen Demyx's name only a few hours before.

Roxas stopped at the door and wrung her hands together, bouncing slightly on her feat. "Fuck." Her tone was a little frustrated, as if her own nervousness made her angry.

Axel chuckled. That's his Roxas for you. (Axel mentally cringed at the fact he was already referring to Roxas as 'his').

Axel turned to her and grinned. "Nervous?"

She laughed a little desperately. God, even her laugh was the same. Though obviously Roxas's voice wasn't as deep, she still had that strong, throaty laugh that seemed to seep into Axel's skin and warm him from the inside.

Yep, he was whipped.

"Nope, not at all…shit." Roxas sighed and composed herself before turning a calm gaze on Axel. "What about you?"

Axel was a little surprised by this question. "What do you mean?"

She shrugged and turned back to stare at the door, but not yet making a move to go inside. "Well, I dunno, it's just…everyone's in there." She cast a sidelong glance at him. "And half of the people you betrayed, or killed, or…whatever."

Axel paled a little. He hadn't realized that it might not just be Demyx and Roxas, (and Xemnas, apparently) that'd he'd have to face. "Oh…yeah." He shuddered, but took a small amount of comfort in the fact that he'd already had to deal with the Superior, and escaped with his life, so the rest couldn't be too bad…right? "Well, you abandoned them, though, right? And there not mad at you…"

Roxas rolled her eyes. " No. Some of them were a little… aggravated at first, but they got over it pretty quickly." She grinned. "Then again, it I didn't technically kill any of them, Sora did. And betraying them…well, we all wanted hearts right? I just went to mine. They couldn't really blame me, could they?"

Axel cringed. "Should I be scared?"

Roxas laughed again. Oh, how Axel loved that sound. "Maybe. Larxene's in there, and she and Luxord probably brought Marluxia with them. You did kind of screw them over."

Axel groaned then stopped. "Wait, Larx and_ Luxord _brought Marluxia?"

Roxas nodded. "Yeah, they're married."

Axel just stared, not really processing the logic behind Roxas's words.

Roxas smiled at Axel's expression. "Yeah, I know. But, they really work together, you know?"

Axel shook his head. No, he didn't know, but he accepted it anyway. "And Marluxia is…?"

"Their gardener. He lives in a flat above their garage." Roxas rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest. "Honestly I think the guy's asexual. All he does is play with his flowers all day. He's obsessed."

Before Axel had time to process his new discoveries, Roxas sighed loudly and grabbed Axel's arm, pulling him forcefully through the door. "Let's do this."

The two barely made it through the door before someone cried out and flung themselves at Roxas. Axel had time to be mildly surprised at Roxas's ability to stay standing after being tackled with such force, before he too was brought into a rough hug by an all too familiar Mohawked teen.

Demyx pulled back and gave Roxas another, slightly more controlled, embrace. "Oh my God you guys made it!"

Roxas smiled at Demyx. "Duh, Demyx. This is so important, not even Axel would miss it."

Demyx turned a grinning face to Axel and hugged him again. "Axel! We've missed you." His tone was serious, and Axel got the impression he was speaking for Roxas as much as himself.

Axel had to hold back tears. The presence of Demyx and Roxas really brought him back to the more carefree days in Organization XIII, and he was reminded of how much he'd missed them. "Yeah, Dem, I missed you guys too."

The Demyx pulled back abruptly, the most genuine grin still plastered on his face. "Everyone's here already! Well, almost everyone. Come on!"

As Demyx turned and began dragging both Roxas and Axel towards the stage he noticed that, indeed, it did seem like everyone was here.

But before they reached the group Demyx stopped abruptly, looking down at a figure who was sitting alone in a chair at one of the tables, reading. When he looked up, Axel wasn't surprised at the familiar face.

Or, half a familiar face.

"Zexy!" Demyx cried and proceeded to fling himself on the man's lap, kissing him lightly on his exposed cheek. "Look who Roxie and me found!"

Roxas scoffed. "Dammit, Demyx! Don't call me 'Roxie'…" She paused before mumbling: "And it's 'Roxie and _I'."_

Demyx grinned and reached out to pat Roxas affectionately on the head. He yelped in surprise, however, when Zexion stood, gently detaching Demyx from his lap, and moved in front of Axel.

Zexion was only a few inches taller than Roxas, so he was naturally much shorter than the redheaded pyro, but he showed no sign of being intimidated as he stared up into Axel's face with a neutral expression.

Roxas and Demyx watched silently.

"Uh, heh. Hey, Zex." Axel brought a hand up to scratch uncertainly at the back of his head.

Zexion nodded in greeting, and then said, rather bluntly, "you betrayed us. And your betrayal got me, and several other members, killed." His tone was even, but that only made Axel more nervous. "Although…" Zexion glanced briefly at Roxas before continuing, "I understand why you did it…_Still_…"

And before Axel had time to react, Zexion's fist shot up and collided with his jaw. Axel couldn't say this was the first time he'd been hit, nor would it be the last, and it defiantly wasn't 

the hardest punch he'd ever received, but it still managed to make him hiss in pain and stumble back a few steps.

Axel vaguely heard Roxas and Demyx shout in surprise. When he'd finally turned back to Zexion with wide eyes the slate-haired boy shrugged, "I guess we'll call it even." And with that he sat back down and opened his book, as if nothing had happened.

Axel rubbed at his jaw and glanced over at Roxas to see an amused smirk on her face. Before he could comment however, he heard shrill laughter erupt from behind him. Very _familiar _laughter. Axel spun around to see Larxene, her arm draped casually over Luxord's shoulders, standing a few feet behind him, apparently very amused.

"Oh, Axel," she said between breaths, "that little Emo kid just _pwned_ you."

From somewhere behind him Axel heard Zexion say, "I'm not Emo."

Larxene just cackled and leaned against Luxord, surveying Axel. "You haven't changed a bit have you, pyro?"

Axel nodded. He'd noticed little had changed, physically at least, as far as the Organization members were concerned. Larxene still had that slicked back, blond hair, a few strands separate and pulled back, (Axel always thought they looked like antenna). Luxord looked the same as well, short blond hair, goatee. Axel even thought he saw a deck of cards tucked into Luxord's shirt pocket.

"Hey, kid!" Larxene shouted over Axel's shoulder. Axel turned to see Roxas looking over at them.

"What?"

"Where's your father at? Isn't he supposed to be here?"

Roxas rolled her eyes. "He's working late tonight, but he said with how often Demyx practices in our garage, he's probably heard everything anyway." She paused before adding: "And don't end sentences with prepositions!"

Larxene just laughed, and Luxord grinned. She slid her arm off her husband's shoulders and leaned in close to Axel to whisper, "our little Roxie must be nervous; she only becomes a Grammar Nazi when she's tense."

The three of them exchanged stories. Axel recounting his life as he did for Roxas, Larxene and Luxord discussing how they met, married, and eventually allowed Marluxia to move in with them as their gardener. Apparently he had his own business and was doing quite well for himself.

Throughout the conversation, whenever Roxas walked within hearing distance of the trio, Larxene, and occasionally Luxord, would make a point to raise their voice and make frequent grammatical errors. After awhile, Roxas got so frustrated she avoided their group all together. Axel found this rather amusing, and the friendly teasing made him feel somewhat nostalgic.

Axel's return seemed to be the talk of the night. Demyx came up, determined to give Axel his whole life's story in under two minutes, before he had to scurry off and continue setting up. Zexion hadn't said much. He and Demyx were dating now, finally, and Axel was glad to see that there didn't seem to be any tension between him and the slate-haired man. Namine had come to greet Axel as well, hugging him tightly and telling him to take good care of her Roxas. Even Sora came up at one point, apologizing vehemently for interrupting them earlier. Axel noticed that the silver haired boy he'd seen earlier, Riku, determinedly kept his distance from both Axel and Roxas.

Axel was surprised that the subject of his "betrayal" was rarely brought up. Marluxia gave him hell about getting him killed, but Axel got the impression that everyone had learned to 'forgive and forget', as they say. Larxene teased him a little about it too, but mostly because he'd done it for Roxas. "I always said you were his," she paused to laugh, "well, _her _bitch, Axie-poo."

As time passed, people slowly bled into the building. The regular guests, combined with Demyx's sizable entourage, made the room a little more than crowded.

When Larxene and Luxord left for the bar, Axel sighed at the freedom and glanced around for Roxas.

Spotting her in the corner talking to a dark haired man he'd never met, Axel immediately felt the jealousy well up in the pit of his stomach. The man looked…a lot like Axel, actually. He had the long, spiked back hair, only this man's was black. And he wasn't quite as skinny as Axel, but just as tall.

But just as Axel started walking over to the two, fully prepared to rip out the other man's throat if need be, he was pulled in to a brutal one armed hug.

"Dude! Where the hell you been, man?"

Axel recognized the voice immediately. He turned, pulling himself from the embrace, and looked into the familiar face of Xigbar.

Once again, little had changed. Xigbar had the same eye patch covering his right eye. His hair was ridiculously straight and pulled back into a long ponytail. The white streaks in it, however, didn't seem to be natural, especially since Xigbar looked fairly young, perhaps mid- to late-twenties. His face wasn't as badly scarred either.

"Hey, Xigbar." Axel turned and glanced back at Roxas to see another blond man, who actually resembled Roxas a little, in the hair department at least, had joined the conversation. "Who's that talking to Roxas?"

Xigbar laughed. "Nice to see ya too." He glanced over Axel's shoulder and grinned. "The dark haired dude is Zack. He's head of the police force around here. My boss."

Axel raised a brow incredulously. "That guy?" He pointed over at Zack. "He's got to be younger than you!"

Xigbar chuckled. "Yep, kids only twenty-something, but he's already been promoted to chief." He shrugged.

Axel, reluctantly impressed, but still ready to maul the guy, turned back to Xigbar. "And he's your boss?"

Xigbar nodded. "Yep, I'm part of Twilight Town's elite gun squadron. Naturally."

Axel rolled his eyes and grinned. "Naturally." He looked back over at the three. "What's he doing talking to Roxas though?"

Xigbar grinned and raised a brow. "Protective are we?" When Axel said nothing Xigbar continued. "Zack's engaged to the kid's older brother." He pointed at the blond man who was now ruffling the hair of a very angry looking Roxas. Zack was laughing. "That guy's Cloud, they're getting married in a couple of months."

Axel was slightly surprised by this. "So," he suddenly felt the need to ask, "Roxas isn't…_dating _anyone, is she?"

Xigbar laughed rather loudly at this. "As if! I doubt the girl's ever been on a date in her life." He suddenly leaned in close and nudged Axel with his elbow. "But, ya know, it's not like she hasn't been asked." He winked, (or at least, Axel _thought _it was a wink, he couldn't tell), before heading off without another word to sit down at Larxene's table.

When Axel turned back to Roxas, he saw Zack and Cloud had already left, leaving Roxas – finally – alone. Axel sauntered over to find a her looking very irritated. One of her signature pouts gracing her lips.

"Hey, what's up with you?"

Roxas turned her head to look at Axel, and he was delighted to notice the blond's expression soften a little. "Zack was just talking to me about the wedding. He and my brother are getting married this summer."

Axel raised a brow. This didn't seem to be any reason for Roxas to be angry. Could she be jealous? "Yeah, Xigbar told me. But…I don't see why this should make you angry."

"Ugh," Roxas messaged the bridge of her nose. "It's really not a big deal, I guess. I don't wanna talk about it." She looked up at Axel, giving him a small smile. "So you talked to Xigbar?"

Axel was still curious about Roxas's mood, but decided to let it go for now. "Yeah. He told me Zack was his boss."

Roxas's smile grew a little. She looked almost…proud? Axel made a mental note to kick this guy Zack's ass. "Yeah. He got Cloud a job on the force. He's supposed to be some kind of prodigy or something. He's very good at what he does. Cloud…really looks up to him, I think."

Axel nodded, deciding to change the subject. He didn't like the way Roxas smiled when she talked about this Zack guy. "So where's Vexen? And Xaldin? Shouldn't they be here too?" He glanced around, "I don't see Lexeaus or Saïx either."

Roxas shrugged. "Xaldin lives out in Traverse Town. He's head chef and some restaurant he runs. Dad talked to him this morning; apparently he couldn't get anyone to cover his shift. And Vexen," she snorted, "well, you try tearing that man away from his chemistry set, really." She glanced around. "Saïx should be here soon. Zexion said his last class ended about an hour ago, he goes to the Twilight Town Technical College." Roxas explained. "Lexeaus is probably picking up his girlfriend from work, before he heads over."

Axel's eyes widened. "_Lexeaus_? Has a _girlfriend_?"

Roxas let out that beautiful laugh that made Axel shiver. "Yeah, some girl named Yuffie. They're really good together though." Roxas grinned. "He never talks, and she never shuts up."

Axel tilted his head. It was hard to imagine Lexeaus dating someone. He was always rather introverted, and Axel couldn't say he'd gotten to know the man too well while they were in the Organization.

Before Axel could contemplate this further, however, Roxas reached out and grabbed his arm, he looked down to see her pointing toward the door. Turning, Axel saw Lexeaus, once again looking exactly as Axel remembered – though maybe a bit shorter – talking to a much smaller girl with short black hair and a jittery attitude. They seemed to be discussing something important. Lexeaus had leaned down and was clearly speaking in hushed tones to the girl, who Axel assumed must be Yuffie. Both looked concerned.

Roxas furrowed her brow. "I wonder what their talking about."

Before she or Axel could even consider approaching them, however, Zexion came and grabbed Roxas's arm, who in turn grabbed Axel's, and started pulling her towards the table near the front that he'd previously been occupying.

"It's starting."

...

**A/N**: ok I'm **really** uncertain about this chapter. It's kinda different from the first ones. What do you think? Too wordy? Too much dialogue? Boring? Sucks? …fantastic? No? Seriously people, reviews are important to me! I like to know how I'm doing, and how I should improve. Personally, I think I've done well with Roxas's character. I like Larxene in this too. Xigbar…I really didn't know how to write his lines. I don't feel I captured his character very well…hm. I'm going to work more with the side pairings in future chapters, after we get Demyx's concert thing over with.

**REVIEW!** _**NOW!**_


	6. Serenade

**A/N: **I would like to once again send a THANK YOU TO ALL MY REVIEWERS! You really encourage me! I know I had some random pairings in the last chapter. I read a story once where Luxord defended Larxene when she yelled or something. The two of them never really talked in it, but I thought, "hey, they'd go well together." So I paired them up. Lexeaus and Yuffie…there is no explanation. I just pictured Lexeaus and I wanted to pair him with some girl (I don't like it when _everyone's _gay – it's unrealistic and less exciting) and I just suddenly thought…"Yuffie?" And they _are_ very contrasting, Lexeaus is all quiet and calm, Yuffie…not so much ;)

ZackxCloud are perfect for each other, so I don't think _that _pairing needs an explanation (OTP anyone?).

**Plot: **Demyx's concert…thing (can you tell I don't know what to call it?) is starting! Afterwards everyone heads over to Demyx's! But alas, what has Yuffie and Lexeaus so concerned…?

**Disclaimer: **there was no naked Axel, therefore, I do not own the game KH…Or FF, 'cus they killed Zack. This story is mine though.

Continuing with Axel's POV

Step1: Read  
Step 2: Enjoy  
Step 3: REVIEW

…

A dark haired, and very large breasted, woman walked up to the microphone as Axel, Roxas, and Zexion took seats at one of the tables. Axel stared at the woman he did not recognize and scoffed. No way those things we're real.

She cleared her throat, calling the attention of the women and any other man who wasn't already ogling her chest. "Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. I am so glad to see so many of you gathered here tonight. We have a very special guest this evening: straight from Twilight Town High, Demyx O'Donohue!"

Demyx walked out on stage and waved to the crowd – which, Axel had noticed, was in no way meager. He seemed, to Axel, to be his usual, bubbly, full of confidence and sunshiny rainbows self. There wasn't a hint of fear or discomfort in his demeanor. At least, not that Axel could see.

"Evening everyone!" The crowd, at least half of which knew or was related to Demyx in some way, cheered loudly. In Axel's peripheral vision, he could see Roxas bouncing nervously in her seat, and reaching out to grip Zexion's arm rather tightly. The tension and excitement was practically radiating from the blond, and Axel only then realized just how close the two blond former-Nobodies had become in his absence.

And, honestly, Axel was a little jealous.

Ok, so he was practically livid at that point, but whatever. Axel still had enough common sense and self control left to realize that he had only just entered Roxas's life, while Demyx had been her friend for years. He couldn't expect to just suddenly appear and immediately become Roxas's bestest, closest buddy after only a few hours. Especially when, in those few hours, Axel had already managed to deny his love for her.

But that didn't mean Axel couldn't seethe quietly.

Demyx spoke again after the cheering died down and Axel redirected his attention to the stage. "I'd like to do a few songs for you guys, if you don't mind." A few people confirmed that they didn't mind at all, and Axel distinctly heard Larxene shout out – rather loudly – "It's why we're here, Nocturne, get on with it!"

Hearing Larxene call Demyx by his old nickname really brought on a sense of nostalgia. It…wasn't an entirely unwelcomed feeling.

Demyx smiled in Larxene's direction. "These are all songs I wrote myself, so, I hope you enjoy them."

Demyx settled down on the barstool provided and pulled his guitar into his lap. How many times, Axel wondered, had he and Roxas, and sometimes a few other members, sat down together to listen to Demyx play like this?

Demyx leaned towards the microphone and almost whispered – a sound that was amplified by the devise at his lips – "My first song I'll be playing for you is cleverly entitled _Maybe._"

Axel visibly shivered at his words, and a glance in Roxas's direction told him she'd reacted much the same. Their gazes locked together for a moment and something unreadable flashed through her eyes before she turned away again.

Once Demyx started strumming out the familiar tune of a song Axel had heard so many times before, yet never once in his life, it was confirmed. This song…Demyx used to sing it all the time in the Organization. It was the first song he'd ever written, and he'd played it for Axel and Roxas before anyone else, as he was quite close to them in those days. Demyx had inquired to Roxas what he should name it, and Roxas – who, Axel later discovered, was a lot more creative than he let on at that moment – had suggested Demyx just name the song _Maybe._

And he did.

Demyx did several songs and the redhead was impressed, but not surprised, to find that the man's music skills had changed little from what he remembered. He even recognized a few of the lyrics to certain songs. Demyx never let his status as a Nobody (or an Organization member) stop him from 'living his life' as he put it. He'd spend hours composing music, strumming out songs on his Sitar, and writing down random lines when they struck him – even in the middle of missions.

Axel stared ahead for most of the song, but his eyes were determinedly taking in the blond to his left. Roxas was perched on her seat at full attention, occasionally singing along quietly with Demyx. Her hand rarely left Zexion's arm as she listened to Demyx play. Even Zexion's normally stoic face managed to conjure up some emotion. Once again, Axel couldn't quite quell the jealousy rising up at the fact that it wasn't _him _Roxas was clinging to.

Axel guessed that Roxas's must've noticed his tension – she was always good at reading him, even though he was sure his emotions were palpable at this point – because after the first song ended and the second began, she snaked her hand over to his shoulder. When he turned to look at her she smirked – which Axel immediately understood to be an apologetic smile – and leaned over to him to whisper: "I'm glad you're here for this, Axel."

Axel couldn't stop the grin that sprung up at these words and he managed to mumble out a: "yeah, me too." Roxas nodded and turned her gaze back to Demyx, allowing her hand to slide down Axel's arm lightly before she laced her fingers with his. Axel, up until that moment, had forgotten just how much he'd missed something as simple as holding hands with Roxas. It comforted him with its familiarity and meaning. To know that they could still interact with each other in the same way they had before, well, it just heightened Axel's hope for the future.

If he didn't fuck it up with his idiocy, he supposed.

Half way through Demyx's third or fouth song Axel's gaze traveled to where Lexeaus and that girl…_Yuhfie,_ or something, were sitting. The two looked incredibly tense sitting next to each other, and Axel didn't miss the way their gazes occasionally glanced over to peer at Roxas.

It unnerved him, to put it lightly. Axel had always been _very _protective when it came to Roxas. And, to be honest, Axel had a lot on his plate right now. He had suddenly flung himself – willingly, even – into a situation that brought up a past he'd mostly wanted to forget. He didn't want any outside issues being brought between them, especially since Axel seemed to be so good at creating those issues on his own.

When Demyx finished his last song, he got a standing ovation. Even Axel couldn't help the pride he felt as his friend bowed to the crowd and thanked them passionately for their praise. Roxas looked excited but exhausted, the stress having finally taken its toll. Even Zexion looked a little relieved as he smiled up at Demyx. The look on Zexion's face at that moment made Axel's chest constrict slightly.

Roxas used to give him that same look.

...(finally, a scene break!)...

After the show, Demyx invited everyone back to his house. Zexion, of course, agreed to go, as did Roxas – after making sure Axel was coming too. Lexeaus and his girlfriend came also, as well as Roxas's brother, Cloud, and – to Axel's slight irritation – Zack.

Axel hadn't paid much notice to Demyx's home when he'd arrived there earlier (his only intention at the time was finding Roxas). But now, as he entered the foyer with the group, he allowed himself a moment to observe his surroundings.

The house was so very…_Demyx_, he guessed. There was no other way to put it. Music was clearly an important theme of the household. Sheets of music littered the kitchen table and much of the surrounding floor, all covered with notes and scribbles. Old records lined the walls, some (Axel assumed the more rare ones) were even framed. In one of the rooms, several different instruments were piled against the wall and Axel wouldn't have been surprised if Demyx could play all of them.

Everything – furniture, carpets, walls – were primarily influenced by blue or green, giving the house a calm and fluid feeling. Like water. There was even a rather large fish tank against one of the walls in the living area. It was filled with an abundance of the most colorful and unique looking fish Axel had ever seen. A photo of a man (Axel would later discover to be Demyx's father, Cid) hung above the tank. He wore a flying outfit and goggles, standing in front of a small, Wright brothers-esque plane. Roxas explained to him that Cid was a pilot.

They all gathered in the largest room – the one with the fish tank – and sat around one of the coffee tables as Demyx talked adamantly about how it felt to sing in front of a crowd. Rikku, Demyx's sister who seemed almost as eccentric as he was, came in to congratulate her brother briefly before leaving with a group of friends to God knows where.

Roxas entered the room after a bathroom break and moved to where Axel had sat down on the couch, making as if to crawl into his lap like she used to do when they were still in the Organization. Axel as well had made room for the blond, almost opening his arms to pull her into an embrace, but they both seemed to catch themselves at the same time, freezing for a very awkward moment before Roxas turned sharply settled into the chair opposite the couch and Axel.

Axel tried not to look too crestfallen. After all, he'd brought it on himself. Hah! A mere half a day amongst Roxas and the others and Axel had _already _managed to make life uncomfortable and irritating in some way or another.

The group of them spent much of the night, surprisingly enough, singing. Apparently this was commonplace at Demyx's house, as few people showed any amount of surprise when Demyx jumped up and shouted: "Hey, guys! Know what we should do now?"

Roxas audibly groaned from her perch across from Axel. "Demyx…" she literally whined the boy's name, as if she knew what was coming. "It's _late _and we're _tired_." She sent him a glare. "_You _may have had an easy time today, but I spend most of the evening a nervous wreck. Can't we just…watch a movie? Or…sleep for a couple weeks?"

Demyx just laughed and launched himself at Roxas, wrapping her in an affectionate hug. Axel had to consciously refrain himself from leaping up and pulling them apart (and beating the stuffing out of Demyx).

"Oh, but _Roxie!_" Axel glared a little. Did he just call her '_Roxie'_? Axel liked Demyx, but his chances at survival were getting lower by the minute. "Come, on, it'll be fun! You know you want to!"

Cloud grinned from his seat next to Zack and nodded, propping an elbow on the other's shoulder. "Yeah, come on, Rox, don't spoil our fun with your negativity."

Roxas sent Cloud a death glare but in the end she sighed. "Whatever."

Demyx squealed and jumped up, moving to a karaoke machine set up across the room. He flipped it on and tossed a mike to Roxas, who reluctantly caught it, and picking the other one up himself. Roxas sent a sidelong glance at Axel who just grinned at her, determined to act casual and rejuvenate the relationship they'd once shared at all costs.

Roxas rolled her eyes. "What song De-" Roxas cut herself off as the music began to start and groaned again. Axel heard Zack _whoo! _rather loudly as a song he'd recognized from his childhood began playing.

Axel screwed up his face and looked at Zexion. "Uh, Lion King?"

Zexion smirked, flipping a page in the book he'd started reading the moment he sat down. He shrugged. "Dem has a thing for Disney movies." He didn't elaborate further.

Axel raised an eyebrow and was about to say something else when Demyx's thunderous and overly excited voice rang throughout the house. How Demyx can conduct a mini-concert, then turn around and sing karaoke without having his voice crack, Axel would never know.

"I'm gonna be a mighty king! So enemies BEWARE!"

Next came Roxas's voice. Her obvious disdain for the current situation made her tone fit quite well with the character she was singing for. Axel, who'd never had a chance to hear the blond sing before, was startled at how…_beautiful _her voice sounded. "Well, I've never seen a king of beasts with quite so little hair."

A loud chorus of cheers and hollers sounded at Roxas's singing, and Axel found himself joining in. Roxas and Demyx – both of whom had obviously done the song enough that they'd memorized the words, as neither bothered to look at the lyrics – had turned and were now singing the song to each other rather than the screen.

For the next handful of hours, the group of them sat around the television, laughing loudly at each other's attempts at singing Disney songs. Lexeaus and Yuffie – who seemed to have put whatever they were discussing before on the backburner – did Gaston's song from Beauty and the Beast. Zack had been more than happy to participate in a few songs as well – Axel was a little irritated to find that the man had a pretty good voice – and coaxed Cloud into singing with him. Axel even did a song or two, including a duet with Roxas on _A Whole New World – _Roxas had chosen to sing Aladdin's part.

By the time everyone began to settle down it was creeping on 4am. Lexeaus had long since fallen asleep on the loveseat with Yuffie, and Zack and Cloud were dosing in one of the armchairs. Demyx had turned the karaoke off after Roxas vehemently assured him she was _not _going to sing _High-Ho _with him. Now, he was sitting in front of the piano, playing a soft melody and humming softly to himself. Zexion sat next to him, the same book in his lap, reading silently.

Roxas and Axel had ended up on opposite ends of the couch, and Axel was trying desperately to think of anything that would break the uncomfortable silence that seemed to follow them wherever they went.

Beside him, Roxas yawned. Axel turned to her and raised an eyebrow, a gentle smile playing on his lips. "Tired?"

She turned to him and rolled her eyes. "That's one way to put it. Between Demyx playing tonight and you suddenly appearing on my doorstep it's been a very stressful day for me." She said matter-of-factly. "Not to mention I had a pop quiz in calculus this morning. Calculus! And I didn't do the homework…"

Axel smiled though it was a little guilty. "Well, I'm sorry I contributed to your stress."

Roxas rolled her eyes before meeting Axel's gaze. "Don't be stupid. I'm glad you showed up." She laughed almost mirthlessly. "Hell, I've been waiting for you for nineteen years."

Axel nodded, not really sure what to say other than: "Sorry."

Roxas waved a hand dismissively, gaze traveling to where Demyx had paused in his playing to mumble something to Zexion. Even from this distance, the fatigue was evident in her features. "Don't be. You're here now; that's all that matters to me." She gave Axel a serious look. "I really missed you, you know?"

"Yeah," Axel's voice was a little hoarse, whether or not it was from the singing, he couldn't tell. "I missed you too, Roxie."

He saw Roxas shiver at the nickname before standing, grabbing a pillow at the same time. "Don't call me that," she said, but there was no force behind her words. Roxas would always complain about the nickname, but she only ever let Axel get away with it.

With a sigh she started to move past him when he shot his hand out and gripped her wrist firmly. She glanced down at him, clearly irritated at the interruption and wanting only to get some much needed sleep.

Axel looked up at her, his own eyes beginning to sting with exhaustion. "Where are you going?"

Roxas looked at him, blinking slowly and stifling yet another yawn. "Well as it seems everyone is sleeping down here, so I figured I'd go make myself comfortable on that patch of carpet over there," she pointed to the corner of the room next to one of the chairs, "so Zex and Dem can have the other chair and you can sleep on the couch."

Axel shook his head but made no move to stand or release Roxas. "Hell no, you're not sleeping on the floor. You take the couch."

Roxas made a sound in her throat that could almost e translated as a growl. She was clearly growing frustrated. "Ax, one night sleeping on the floor won't kill me. _You've _been traveling all day, not to mention you're about twice as tall as me, so _you _can have the couch."

Axel smirked and cocked his head to the side, deciding to taunt the blond a little. "What about chivalry. My mother taught me to be a gentleman, Rox. I can't sit idly by while a fair maiden such as yourself is forced to sleep on the cold, hard floor."

Axel could almost hear Roxas clench her teeth. "The floor isn't cold, Axel. Besides, chivalry is dead." She pulled fruitlessly as her entrapped wrist. "Let me _go_, Axel," she whined. Axel knew she was tired at this point, as Roxas was never one to beg. "I _really _want to go to lie down now."

"Oh, is that what you want?" Axel cocked a brow and before Roxas could form a response, he pulled the pillow from her grasp and yanked the blond onto his lap. She let out an indignant squeal as Axel lay down and brought Roxas with him, positioning her on his chest.

Axel looked down at Roxas with a triumphant smile, wrapping one arm around her waist and using the other to ruffle her hair before resting it behind his head. Roxas looked up at him with obvious surprise.

"Dammit, Axel," was all she said before resting her head on his chest and tucking her forehead against his neck. One arm brought up against the couch to rest next to him – and he was certain he felt her stroke his hair slightly – the other arm flung across his midsection and hanging over the edge of the couch. She sighed into his throat and snuggled closer.

Axel, feeling truly content for the first time in his life, turned to rest his lips against Roxas's forehead, listening as the blond's breathing slowed and evened out in sleep. Only then, as he drifted off with the comfortable weight of Roxas pressed against him, did he notice Demyx has started playing _Can You Feel the Love, Tonight?_ and singing gently. Axel had time to smirk at this realization before sleep overcame him at last.

…

**A/N: **These things feel so much longer when you're typing them. I struggled like hell with this chapter (hence the severe lateness, also partly due to lack of reviews – see how I make this you're fault too, lqtm). I'm trying to get better at writing prose, so, tell me how you like/hate/whatever this i hate my writing right now but i cant quite figure out _why_. _More action? Too much dialogue? Shorter scenes? More detail? Just give up entirely? _

**PS**: I _loathe _coming up with last names! O'Donohue is Dem's English voice actor's last name. I will probably do that for character's who last names I have to create – assuming I can't use some other character's name (i.e. Strife).

**PPS**: Demyx's songs (even though i only mentioned one) are by Secondhand Serenade, because they're acoustic-y and good and appropriate for an ex-Nobody like Dem, I think.

Reminder: _**REVIEW**_!


	7. The past comes back to haunt us

**A/N: **i really didnt expect to hav this chapter out so soon. i was actually thinking i might just wait until i finished the story to post another chapter but...that's take too long and i dont want to be one of those people who doesnt update for months at a time. anyway plot is evolving! yay! i hope everyone's sticking with me! sorry the chapters arent all that long - like i said, they feel long when you're typing them.

anyway, my chapters are getting better. my girl roxas kicks most male roxas's asses. yeah. i said it. i've read plenty of fanfics where roxa is basically a girl. at least mine has balls. owned.

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing but the story. story is mine. characters and references to Kingdom Hearts, Final Fantasy and Disney are not mine. duh.

Read on...  
...

Roxas awoke with a smile on her face.

The moment she opened her eyes Roxas realized why. She glanced up at Axel who was still sleeping soundly. For awhile, Roxas chose to just lie on Axel's chest and watch him sleep – like she used to do. And in those few minutes, she really couldn't tell the difference between then and now, except that this time, she could feel Axel's heart beating gently against the palm of her hand.

Roxas glanced around the room to see everyone still asleep. She slid almost hesitantly off of Axel, taking one last look at him sleeping before heading towards the kitchen. Desperately needing something to do, she pulled the fridge open and stared blindly into it. She wasn't hungry, or thirsty. Hell she wasn't sure _what _she felt at the moment.

Slamming the fridge door closed, and praying the sound didn't wake any of the others, she growled quietly in her throat. her confusion and fatigue morphing into anger. _What_ the FUCK was Axel's deal? He says he doesn't love her, and then he gets all cuddly. How is that fair? What's Roxas supposed to think?

Roxas huffed. She had half a mind to spin around, march back in that living room and _demand_ an explanation. Or at least beat the living hell out of him.

Or both. Yeah…probably both.

But before she could put this plan into action, another presence entered the kitchen.

The footsteps in the doorway and Roxas could hear him clear his throat. "Hey." His voice sounded a little cautious.

Roxas looked up and she could almost feel the weight being lifted from her shoulders. "Hey."

Demyx walked over to Roxas and pulled her into a hug. "Yesterday was pretty hard on you, huh?"

Roxas laughed at the understatement. "Yeah, am I that obvious?"

Demyx pulled back and smiled. "Well, you do kinda look like shit."

Roxas tried to look offended, but failed. "Dem! You're not supposed to say that kinda thing to a girl!" Though she knew Demyx had to have a point. It was obviously early, and considering how late she went to bed, coupled with the stress and complete lack of sleep she'd gotten all week, Roxas had to be looking pretty rugged. Not to mention she'd just spent the night sleeping on a couch.

"Sorry. My bad." Demyx chuckled. He walked over to the kitchen table and sat down, indicating she should do the same. "Tell me about it."

Roxas fell heavily into the chair beside Demyx and rubbed her eyes. "I asked him if he still loved me." Roxas tried to ignore how pathetic she sounded; it was too early in the morning to bother salvaging her pride. Especially in front of Demyx. God knows he'd seen her at lower moments. "He said he didn't know."

Demyx tilted his head to the side and looked at Roxas. "He didn't say 'no'." He pointed out.

She scoffed. "Yeah but he didn't say yes either." She swallowed; it was always so easy to open up to Demyx. "I just…it's just like it was back then you know. Everything…_feels _the same, but I don't know if it's just me or what. He _acts_ the same, but tells me he's not sure he _feels_ the same." She groaned and buried her face in her hands. "It's because I'm a girl, isn't it?"

Demyx laughed. "I'm sure _that's_ not it, Roxas."

"Dammit, Demyx, of course it is. It's that or he never loved me in the first place."

"Rox –"

"Look," Roxas leaned back, dropping her hands from her face and looking at her best friend. "Dem, face it, the only difference this time is one: I'm a girl. And two: we have hearts."

Demyx sighed and placed his hand over Roxas's. "Roxas, I know this is hard for you. But, Axel…he's just jumped into all this and he's having trouble dealing with it. You may not be a man anymore, but he is. Men have a natural fear of commitment. And, let's face it, he's always been a bit of an idiot."

Roxas grunted in agreement.

"And don't forget, Zex and me had a hard time in the beginning too."

Roxas chuckled half-heartedly at the hidden innuendo, but chose not to mention it. "Yeah, but not everyone gets a happy ending."

"You will, Rox." He pulled her in and hugged her. "You will…"

Roxas sighed. Even though she was less than convinced, Demyx still had the uncanny ability to brighten her mood with little to no effort. Honestly, he was probably responsible for helping her get this far in her life without killing someone. Memories of a tragic past 'life' can be quite a burden sometimes.

"So," Demyx pulled back with a huge smile on his face, and Roxas couldn't help but return it, even if just a little. "What'd you guys talk about yesterday?"

…

Axel awoke feeling empty.

It didn't take him long to realize what the problem was. The comfortable weight on his chest that had been Roxas was missing. He couldn't help but sigh in disappointment.

Sitting up, Axel noted that everyone else seemed to pretty much be in the same position as they'd been in the night before. Zack and Cloud were curled up on an armchair, Yuffie and Lexeaus on the loveseat, Zexion on the other armchair, and Demyx…was missing.

Deciding to investigate this sudden lack-of-Demyx (while simultaneously searching for a certain _other _blond), Axel got up off the couch and stretched. He was surprised to find there was no discomfort in his muscles from sleeping on the couch.

Wandering towards the kitchen, Axel found that both his searches had come to an abrupt conclusion. Demyx and Roxas were sitting at the kitchen table, apparently in the middle of a serious discussion. Their voices were too low to discern from the distance Axel was at, not that it mattered, because they stopped talking the moment he entered.

_And _insert awkward silence here…

"Uh," Axel scratched the back of his head. "Good Morning?"

Demyx perked up, flashing Axel a warm smile. "Morning, Axel!" He kept his voice low enough not to disturb the others who were still sleeping. "You're up early."

"Uh, yeah." Axel didn't bother mentioning that the only reason he was up this early was because he was missing a certain blond, blue-eyed blanket.

Said blanket stood up at this moment and looked at Axel, flashing a smile that looked a little strained. "Morning, Ax." She then turned to Demyx. "Hey, Dem, mind if I use your shower?"

Demyx shook his head. "Not at all. Towels are under the sink." And with that, Roxas left. Demyx waited until they heard the bathroom door close before rounding on the redhead. "So…_Axel,_" it might've just been Axel's imagination, but Demyx's voice seemed a little more tense than usual. Almost, _angry_…almost. If nothing else, Axel could tell he probably wouldn't enjoy this conversation.

"Y-yeah?"

Demyx smiled, though this one was defiantly a little stiff. Axel's suspicions were confirmed when Demyx kindly asked: "what's up your ass?"

It took a few moments for Axel to process Demyx's words. "My-my ass?"

Demyx sighed, standing up and walking over to the redhead, leaning his hip against the counter and staring at Axel with a rare look of seriousness. "Saying you 'don't know if you love her'. Axel, Christ!" He threw his arms up and shot Axel a very irritated look. "I was there, you know, in the Organization. I s_aw_ you two together. If that isn't the epitome of love, then, shit Ax, I dunno what is."

"Demyx…"

"Look, Axel, I get it, okay? You grew up away from all of us, you don't know what's changed, or how to deal with the changes, I _get_ it, alright? But don't be stupid. Please." Demyx gave him a hard look. "I've known Roxas for a long time. And she's had to deal with a lot of emotional shit over you. I'm not saying that's your fault," he said quickly before Axel could interrupt, "but I _am_ asking you not to make this harder than it is. If you don't love her – which I doubt – but if you don't, then, well, she'll deal with it. But don't fuck with her Axel." Axel's eyes widened at Demyx's words. He could barely quell his jealousy at the fact that Demyx and Roxas were clearly pretty close, if he was so determined to go around defending her like this.

He missed the days when Roxas was _his _best friend.

"Besides, she feels…really guilty about it all." Demyx's eyes turned to pleading. "Living with what she did…wasn't easy for her."

Axel was taken aback. "Guilty?"

Demyx only hummed a confirmation, choosing not to say anything else.

When Demyx didn't say anything Axel decided to bring up a fact that had been bothering him. "You two…" Axel wasn't sure if he should mention it. It was childish anyway. "You two are pretty close..."

Demyx rolled his eyes and grabbed Axel by the shoulders, shaking him a little but this time smiling genuinely. It was a small smile, but it was honest. "Axel, you stupid bastard, I could never take your place, ok?" It was funny how Demyx always seemed to know what was wrong, and what to say to make it better. "Roxas is my best friend, and I love her like family, but…she needs _you_, not me. I just kept her sane 'til you showed up…more or less."

The redhead smiled in spite of himself. "Aw, Demyx." He laughed. "I missed you guys." He leaned forward and hugged the former Number IX. "Thanks."

Demyx laughed brightly and returned the embrace sincerely.

They didn't realize someone else had entered the kitchen until a voice spoke up a few feet from where they stood.

"Hm, should I be jealous?"

Demyx squealed, a little loudly for Axel's taste, considering the blond's head was right by his ear. "Zexy!" He removed himself from Axel and turned to pull the slate-haired teen into a bone crushing hug. "Don't be ridiculous, Zex! I save my best hugs for you!"

Axel was surprised when he heard Zexion chuckle – he'd never heard Zexion laugh before. Hell, he wasn't sure he'd ever seen the guy actually _smile_ before.

"Morning." Zexion returned the hug. After a moment he pulled back and glanced around the kitchen before looking over at Axel. "Where's Roxas?"

"She's in the shower." Demyx answered. He suddenly perked up, looking to Axel. "hey why don't you go check on her? She really should be out by now."

Axel was sure he'd just lost all the color in his face. Was this Demyx's way of being _subtle?_ "You want me to _what_?"

Demyx rolled his eyes and started pushing the redhead in the direction of the stairs. "Just knock on the door, you pervert."

Axel scratched the back of his neck and approached the bathroom door cautiously. This was a really awkward position Demyx had put him in. Sure, when they were all in the Organization together, Axel had no reservations about accosting Roxas in the shower – and various other places – but now, it seemed…a little _wrong. _Maybe it was the heart thing, maybe it was the gender thing, or maybe – and more likely than not – it was the fact that Roxas's brother, his fiancé and Demyx were all downstairs and no doubt fully prepared to tear Axel a new one if he made a wrong move.

For this reason, Axel knocked hesitantly. "Uh, hey, Rox?" He kept his voice – and his knocking – low, not wanting to wake the others. "Roxas? You in there?" He placed his ear to the door but couldn't hear anything. The shower obviously wasn't running, and surely Roxas would've answered if she was inside…right?

Taking a deep breath and throwing caution to the wind, Axel pushed open the door and stepped inside. "Roxas?"

And then he froze.

For a moment, he felt nothing. As if his whole body had completely shut down. But that only lasted an instant before all that emotion came rushing back and he felt fit to burst. Between the shock, excitement, and over all arousal he underwent at that moment, Axel was surprised he didn't combust – or at least collapse into some kind of violent seizure.

For there stood Roxas, in all her naked glory, a towel hanging from her hand and feebly covering about half of her still wet torso. If Axel had needed any proof of Roxas's femininity before, well, he certainly had it. _And _if Axel had any doubts about him being just as attracted to a female Roxas as the male version…his doubts had just been beaten, burned, and overall severely violated right in front of him. Judging by the way Roxas had her head tilted lightly to the side, holding the towel close to her neckline, Axel surmised she must have been drying her hair – which was possibly why she didn't hear him knocking.

Even if Roxas and everyone else in the fucking house attacked him at this moment…shit. It was worth it.

"Uh," Axel said after an extended moment – in which he realized he had been blatantly staring. Roxas hadn't moved or spoken and it had Axel…a bit terrified. Like the calm before the 

storm. "I...knocked…and…" Axel took one more sweeping view of Roxas, intent on the fact that it _wouldn't_ be his last. "You look fantastic, Roxie."

This last comment seemed to pull Roxas from her stupor. She immediately covered up with the towel, and Axel got to see a full bodied blush, before his face became reacquainted with Roxas's fist.

Ah, just like old times…

…

Axel was pretty sure he blacked out a little, because, when he came to, he was back on the couch. Only this time, instead of Roxas lying on top of him, there was an icepack on his face.

He'd've defiantly preferred to have Roxas on his face.

Sitting up he noticed that everyone seemed to have awakened, and they were all crowded around the couch – save for Lexeaus and Yuffie. Zack was looking rather amused, and even Cloud had a glint of humor in his gaze, which was a relief because those were the two he was most concerned would totally own his ass for ogling Roxas. Demyx was sitting on the edge of the couch with a triumphant grin and Zexion was off to the side reading –surprise, surprise – and looking completely uninterested in the proceedings. Roxas herself was sitting at the end of the couch, blushing terribly, and determinedly not looking at him.

Demyx spoke up first. "Jeez, Axel, I told you just to _knock_." He shook his head, clearly having fun with this. "I suppose I should've known better."

"It was an accident, I swear." Axel winced. Moving his jaw was a painful task. "Damn, Rox. You hit like a dude."

Roxas's head whipped around and her blush intensified to the point where she looked like an over-ripened strawberry. "_Accident_? Shit, Ax, for an 'accident' you sure took a good long look. Jackass."

Axel laughed and leaned over towards Roxas, who instinctively backed away. "Really? You never seemed to mind that before."

"Careful." This time, it was Cloud that spoke. "That's my favorite little sister you're talking about, Red."

Axel stiffened, holding his hands up in mock surrender and sliding away from Roxas, but not before winking seductively and whispering, "you know you liked it."

Roxas punched his shoulder this time, and later Demyx would assure Axel that it had not been dislocated.

…

Zack and Cloud left shortly after breakfast – claiming they had important 'wedding related business' to take care of. Lexeaus and Yuffie stayed a bit longer, looking oddly uncomfortable. Axel was quickly reminded of their odd behavior at the bar the night before. Though whenever Axel had tried to confront Lexeaus about it, he effectively changed the subject, or – more likely – ignored Axel completely.

It wasn't until they were about to leave – Yuffie apparently had to get back to work – that they pulled Roxas aside by the front door.

Axel just so happened to be more or less stalking Roxas – needless to say, he didn't let her out of his sight. Call it habit. Or obsession. Either way he was there to see the three conversing quietly as he watched them from a distance. Unfortunately for him, years of loud music and poor diet – not to mention evolutionary issues – prevented him from having the ability to hear hushed whispers across distances of over twenty feet.

Roxas's back was to him, and though he couldn't see her face, he noticed how her body tensed as they talked. As the conversation went on, Axel became more and more concerned. He was just about to waltz over there and demand to know what the fuck was going on when a hand landed on his shoulder. He turned and was not surprised to see Demyx standing next to him, watching Roxas as well.

"What do you think they're talking about?" Axel asked. Demyx was naturally more informed about Roxas's life, so perhaps he knew what might be going on?

Demyx shook his head hesitantly, but his brow was furrowed in thought. "I'm…not sure. _But _if it's Yuffie…"

Axel raised a brow. "What?"

Demyx shook his head again, ignoring Axel's question and saying, almost to himself: "she looks upset."

Before Axel could respond Demyx nodded over to the trio. Axel looked up just in time to see Lexeaus and Yuffie hug Roxas briefly before walking out the door, sending a backward wave to Roxas, who didn't move.

Axel was the first at Roxas's side. The blond was staring at the door, a shell-shocked look on her face. There was a hint of…fear in her gaze. And it was that sight that had Axel gripping Roxas by the shoulders and shaking her gently. "Rox? Roxas what's wrong? What happened?"

Demyx walked forward to stand next to Axel. "Roxas?"

Roxas finally jerked from her daze and looked up at them. She licked her lips a few times before her gaze settled on Demyx. Axel ignored his jealousy and frustration for the time being and instead waited patiently for Roxas to speak.

And when she did, a whole wave of panic seized him at once.

"It's," her voice sounded scratchy and dry, "it's DiZ. He…he escaped."

...

**A/N: **lack of sleep has made me tired. so i'm just gonna say: REVIEW _REVIEW **REVIEW**_**!**


	8. Old problems, old habits

**A/N: **ok, for any and all loyal readers: I'm SORRY! College makes it hard to write [harder than I anticipated] so it took me a long time to get this chapter out. In addition I'm really trying to make this story better. I rely on dialogue too much, I think, and I dunno I feel like the story is dragging and characters aren't getting properly developed. I kinda rushed this chapter, but I hope you guys like it. I need your opinions(i.e REVIEW!)!

The three of them eventually made their way to the living room. Zexion was already sitting on the end of the couch, book closed, and seemingly waiting for them. He took one look at Roxas's face and tensed a little, as if he knew what was wrong without asking. Which, with him, was quite possible.

Axel had been more or less in a constant state of shock and confusion since Roxas's statement about DiZ. Sure, he'd managed to subconsciously associate DiZ with loosing Roxas, and losing Roxas is bad, but…this was a new life. They had their hearts. He didn't have to worry about Roxas disappearing on him again, right?

_Right_. He'd just found Roxas, dammit. He wasn't going to lose her again.

Axel sat on the floor in front of the couch, looking up at the trio and struggling to beat down the feeling that he really didn't belong. "What the fuck, guys?"

Zexion turned to Axel and apparently decided to take initiative – as Demyx was a little preoccupied fussing over Roxas, who looked rather shell-shocked. The fact that the blue haired, emo boy, (as Axel so affectionately dubbed him), had chosen to answer Axel and with a minimal amount of distaste on his features, well, it was comforting to know there were no hard feelings. Honestly, Axel had always rather liked Zexion. Even if he _was _a bit of a stiff.

"DiZ has escaped."

Well, maybe there were a few hard feelings. Zexion _had_ always been a smart ass. Bastard. "Yeah, Zex, I got that much. But what's the deal? Escaped from where?"

Zexion's expression was as deadpan as his tone. "A mental institution."

Axel didn't bother to hide his shock. "A what?"

Demyx sighed and turned to Axel, one arm still wrapped protectively around Roxas's shoulders – who seemed to have recovered from her daze and looked more thoughtful than anything else. "DiZ has his memories, just like the rest of us." He shot a sidelong glance at Roxas that had Axel narrowing his eyes ever so slightly – though out of jealousy or curiosity, even he wasn't sure. "The thing is, DiZ can't really tell the difference between the past life and this one. _He _thinks, that because the Organization members are still alive, he still has to reunite Roxas and Sora and destroy the rest of us."

Axel listened with rapt attention. He certainly hadn't expected anything like this. And through it all the primary thought in Axel's mind was: _that should be _my _arm around Roxas's shoulders. _"So…that means…" Axel's stomach clenched almost painfully. "He'll be looking for Roxas."

Demyx nodded, but it was Roxas who spoke. "He tried to kidnap me before, that's how he got committed to the institution in the first place."

Axel straightened, and had his position allowed it, he would've pulled Roxas into a protective embrace and stayed that way until DiZ was caught or killed. He didn't care which. "He _what? _How?" Then a frightening thought occurred to Axel: "Does this mean he knows where you live?"

Roxas nodded. "Yeah. He found Dad at the house, and I that's when he saw me. I don't know what he would've thought if Sora had been home that day… he followed me to school about a week after he threatened my dad and…confronted me outside the building after class. I didn't really know what he wanted…it was the first time I'd seen him, you know, here.

"So, he tried to kidnap me. Told me all kinds of shit like how he knew why I had the keyblade and that he could give me the answers I sought. It was really unnerving…hearing that stuff again…It was just like before."

No, no, _no_! Axel tried to quell the panic pooling in his gut. He couldn't do this. He couldn't lose Roxas _again_! And the fact that it was roughly the same way he'd lost her/him/whatever the first time only made the blow even harder to take. Axel stared intently at Roxas and only vaguely took notice of the fact that his nails were now digging painfully into his palms.

"Ok," Axel said slowly. He had never been good at controlling his anger – or his jealousy, for that matter – so took quite a lot of his energy not to stand up and start breaking things, particularly DiZ's face, (had he been present). Axel was certain that had he still had his powers over fire, he would've burned down Demyx's house by now…or at least the living room. "So, what do we do?"

There was a pregnant silence. Demyx looked at the ground, Zexion watching him. Roxas had been staring at her lap for several minutes now, and when she finally stood up the movement was so quick and sudden that it caused Demyx to squeak in surprise.

"There's nothing we can do," she said flatly. Her tone made Axel stiffen more than her words. Roxas used to talk like that, back in the Organization days, stoic and impassive, as if she really didn't care about anyone or anything. Including herself.

Axel hated it.

"But Roxie –" Demyx started, standing as well.

"No," she shook her head, ruffling a hand through her hair in a tired manner. "Come on, Demyx, what can we do? We just have to be a little more cautious, that's all. Beside," Roxas cringed, "Lexeaus and Yuffie are heading over to tell Dad. He'll have me and Sora under constant paranoid surveillance, and we're the ones DiZ was after before…" She turned a hard eye on the other three, "but you guys had better watch your backs too. I'm sure DiZ thinks he'll to use Sora to kill you guys, but that doesn't mean he won't try anything himself. So _be careful_. Which reminds me." She glanced around the living room, patting the pockets of her jeans absently – Axel watched this movement with a look that was slightly less than innocent. "I didn't bring my cell phone with me. If Dad tried to call and realizes I…don't… _Good Lord_."

Roxas's gaze had traveled to the window now, and before anyone could question her last statement they heard the front door burst open and seconds later a very panicked, very anxious looking Xemnas stormed into the room. Unpleasant memories of Xemnas turning that very look on him many a time before had Axel instinctively shrinking back a little.

"Roxas!"

Roxas spun around to face her father, who had moved to stand in front of her before anyone could completely register what was happening. "Dad? What the hell –"

Xemnas reached forward and gripped Roxas's shoulders. Zexion held his hand out to stop Axel from getting up and interfering like he used to – although, this time, Xemnas wasn't threatening Roxas. "Did you hear?!" Xemnas shook Roxas's shoulders gently. "Why weren't you answering your phone?!"

It took Roxas a moment to respond. Axel wondered what it was like to have a former emotionless Superior turn over-protective parent. "Why didn't you just call Demyx's house?" Roxas looked at her father incredulously. "You knew I was –"

"Dammit, Roxas! He's escaped!" At that moment Xemnas seemed to finally notice the other three in the room and regain some of his composure. When he spoke again, his voice was slightly calmer. "Num –" Xemnas paused to clear his throat. "_Lexeaus _has just informed me that DiZ has escaped. I have told Sora to remain at home with Cloud and I've come to pick you up. I don't feel comfortable with you walking anywhere right now."

Axel was surprised. If Xemnas had had any form of emotion while he was a Nobody, he'd hidden it well. To see Xemnas so concerned – for Roxas's welfare no less – was more than a little surreal for Axel. It completely changed his view of the man. Even when Xemnas tried to bring his voice back to that monotone, impassive level he used to use, there was no denying the hint of worry in his words.

Roxas had recovered from the initial shock somewhat, and even she seemed to be falling back into old habits. Her back was incredibly straight, her face calm, and she returned her father's gaze easily.

"Right. Well, I wish you would just call next time, instead of barging in like a madman."

To Axel's surprise, Xemnas smiled. "I'll remember that. Now come on, we need to get home before Sora decides to escape in my absence." And with that, Xemnas gave a brief nod to Demyx and Zexion, and turned towards the door.

Axel glanced over at Roxas to find the blond staring back at him with a hesitant expression. Axel supposed she was wondering the same thing he was:

Was Axel coming with them?

Xemnas, as if hearing their concerns, stopped and threw a glance at the redhead over his shoulder. "You coming, Axel?"

Perhaps it was a testament to the fact that Axel had grown up a lot – or the fact that Roxas's father and his former Superior had said it – but Axel was able to effectively ignore the innuendo.

Roxas looked with wide eyes at her father and Axel presumed he must have had a similarly shocked expression because Xemnas responded by rolling his eyes at the two of them. "If Axel is anything like I remember him," Xemnas shot a pointed glance at said redhead, "he will do anything to protect you. And besides, you two were practically joined at the hip; he'd end up at our house one way or another." Xemnas turned and continued towards the door, but not before throwing one more look at Axel. "Though I know that _this time _Axel will be a perfect gentleman."

And on that note Xemnas opened the door and made his way to the car. Axel and Roxas said their quick goodbyes, everyone promising each other to be careful, and followed.

…

The car ride to the house was nothing short of awkward.

Roxas and Axel sat together in the back seat – the passenger side seatbelt had been broken for months due to a particularly unpleasant incident regarding Roxas, Riku, a bucket of fried chicken, and several rubber bands. The Strifes didn't like to talk about it.

Not to mention Xemnas kept glancing rather conspicuously at them through the rear view mirror.

Roxas sat rigidly next to Axel, about a foot of seat separating the two. Her hands were sweating rather uncomfortably, (was it always this hot in April?), and Roxas had to consistently remind herself to not start bouncing her leg. She may have felt awkward as hell, but Axel sure didn't need to know that. If Roxas had ever experienced tension you could cut with a knife, it was now. But then, it had always been that way with Axel.

So there they sat Roxas crossed her arms defiantly over her chest, though whether to keep Axel at bay or keep her own hormones from exploding in the most embarrassing an inappropriate way possible, she wasn't sure. In the Organization, it was vastly assumed that Axel was a sex obsessed maniac and Roxas was the timid youth who couldn't say 'no'.

This, of course, was bullshit.

Roxas was far from timid – she was more antisocial, there's a difference – and she sure as hell was able to say 'no' she just, more often than not, chose not to. And Axel would be the first to confirm this. No, Roxas initiated more than her fair share of 'intimate moments' to put it delicately. She just had enough sense to tell the right time from the wrong time, and enough self control to keep her hands where they should be, and not where they really, really wanted to be.

So now as the car crawled the relatively short distance home – Xemnas suffered from the kind of paranoia that kept him driving 5 miles under the speed limit, even in 15 mile-per-hour zones – Roxas found the situation oddly familiar. She wanted so badly to just jump the redhead, and honestly had since he'd arrived, but after the sheer awkwardness of the reunion and Axel's denial of his feelings, (ok, so he didn't deny he loved Roxas, but it had the same effect anyway), she knew better than to try anything. Plus, Xemnas would kill the both of them.

Roxas studied Axel out of the corner of her eye. At first glance, the oversized redhead seemed as nonchalant as can be. Axel slumped down in his seat, overly long legs sprawled in front of him to the point where his knees brushed the back of the seat, and crossed his arms loosely over his chest in a manner that just screamed "tension? What tension?".

Roxas smirked in spite of herself. Axel was no doubt not handling this as well as he wanted it to appear, and unfortunately for him, Roxas knew the redhead well enough to notice the way his eyes kept darting around the car, or how his fists kept clenching and unclenching.

Roxas really wanted to clear up this shit with Axel, but it was hard to get a moment alone with the guy. Other than during the walk to meet Demyx, they hadn't really had any time to themselves.

Roxas was pulled from her thoughts when her father, for what was undoubtedly the billionth time, checked the rearview mirror suspiciously.

"Ugh, good _lord, _Dad!" Her sudden – and rather loud – outburst cut through the silence and made the other two occupants of the car jerk with surprise. "What the hell do you think we're gonna do? Watch the road!"

Roxas slumped down and stared out the window, ignoring Axel's gaze and her father's indignant mutterings the rest if the drive home.

…

An hour later Roxas walked into her room and shut the door quietly behind her. Sora had been waiting for them when they got home. He seemed less than pleased at being forced to spend his Saturday under the watchful eye of their overly paranoid father. Riku and Kairi had promised to visit later, which lifted Sora's mood somewhat. Xemnas had spent the last hour discussing safety precautions before the phone finally rang and distracted Xemnas long enough for the teens to escape. Sora ran off into his room to play video games and Cloud had set up the guest room for Axel – who was currently making use of their shower, giving Roxas a much needed moment alone.

Roxas leaned her back against the door with a sigh, staring blindly at the dimness that enshrouded her bedroom. It was a mess, like usual. Clothes piled up in the corner, abandoned homework strewn lazily about. (Did she have a paper Monday?) Roxas figured she probably should tidy up a bit, but she honestly wasn't sure she had the energy. So many things had happened in the past 24 hours and it was really hard dealing with it all.

Walking over to the bed she flopped down heavily. Her whole body ached. Between Demyx playing at the bar, Axel returning, Axel telling her he didn't know if he loved her, the guilt, DiZ…it was too much. The stress was really piling up, and Roxas was trying, really trying, not to fall back into old stress habits. She'd been doing pretty well the past couple of months, but the last day or so had her really needing some sort of release. Roxas smirked. She knew the perfect way to release some tension, but it didn't look like that was happening anytime soon…not with Axel being a damn flake.

Roxas was tempted to bitch about men and their fear of commitment, but it seemed a too little cliché and hypocritical for her taste. Still, she couldn't help but be a little angry at Axel. In the last life, he'd promised to meet her again, told her he loved her, said…so many things. Did it really mean nothing? Roxas had always hoped he'd meant it, even when she didn't believe he could. Honestly, the more she thought about it, the angrier and more depressed she got. Axel's return was the moment she'd waited for her whole life. A day she both longed for and dreaded. Whether he knew it or not – and knowing Axel, she bet he didn't – he held her future happiness in his hands. And now that she was so close…

Roxas's fingers twitched uncomfortably, and before she realized what she was doing, she found herself staring intently at the top drawer of her nightstand. She knew exactly what she was thinking – well, duh – and she also knew it was a bad idea. Ever since Sora confronted her last year and threatened to tell dad – Roxas visibly shuddered at the thought – she'd dropped the habit completely.

But…fuck. Roxas knew it was wrong, even as she sat up and pulled the drawer open tentatively staring blankly at the box lying inside. Her fingers twitched again, and Roxas could almost feel her arms tingling. It wasn't like this was the worst thing she'd done in her life…but considering how hard Roxas tried to keep from falling prey to stereotypes…this would probably be hypocritical.

Roxas buried her face in her hands. Dammit, this was too hard.

…

**A/N: **Ok, I hate that. But this is a learning process. I'm trying to cram in some more angsty/drama-y goodness, so, be patient with me please. It's taking forever cus this is my first time doing this and I'm not too pleased with the outcome so far, so I'm working hard on making this better. I hope to edit it after I've completed the story.

As always _**REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW!**_ You guys really give me the drive to keep trying.


	9. A Massive Breakout

Haven't messed with this story in awhile. it just feels so sloppy and half assed. i know where i want to go but i'm just impatient to get there. but i have a few chunks written, and i have ideas of what i want to do. so this story may be in a looooong hiatus at times, but i wont abandon it. by God i will finish this!.......eventually.

if this seems rushed, sorry. it's kinda short, but there are some bigger plot points i hope to get to in the near upcoming chapters, and i hope those will have mor substance. college is hard now though! so i only have so much time to work on stuff. i'll try to write over break. seriously, i haven't forgotten this story. i've been working on some Style (Stan/Kyle) fics lately, will hopefully finishe one of them soon...

but nevertheless, onward! i hope you enjoy it.

* * *

Dinner that night was awkward.

Riku and Kairi had come over in the early afternoon, and the two of them along with Sora ordered pizza an hour or two ago, so they'd skipped the family dinner and were currently closed up in Sora's bedroom no doubt playing video games.

That left Axel, Roxas, and Xemnas sitting at the kitchen table, which would have been uncomfortable enough, but they were joined by Xigbar (who was mostly here to appease Xemnas's paranoia), Xaldin (who was preparing dinner as he often did on Sunday evenings), Lexeaus, Demyx, and Zexion. All and all, it felt rather odd to have the Organization partially reformed as it was.

Namine even joined them, opting to give Riku some time with his friends. Of course Roxas knew better. Namine had been shadowing her all evening. The girl was irritatingly intuitive. Something Roxas used to attribute to her gender. But now that Roxas too was a woman, she knew that wasn't the case. Namine just knew things. Roxas however wasn't much for the share-your-feelings girl talk bonding crap. So she was doing her best to keep Namine from asking her any personal questions.

As it was, Namine was currently bustling around the kitchen with Xaldin, while Demyx played guitar in the corner. Lexeaus was…somewhere, probably off with Xigbar "securing the parameter" or something, and Zexion was, (surprise), reading by the window.

It was so familiar Roxas couldn't help but feel discomfited. This is just like how they used to be. Sitting together like this. Casually co-"existing".

Roxas tried to hide her discomfort by looking as apathetic as possible – which she had gotten pretty good at over the years. She fiddled absently with her silverware, something her father would often scold her for. He was surprisingly strict when it came to manners. But today Roxas wasn't too concerned about being called out on poor dinner etiquette, since Xemnas was either deep in thought, or trying to burn a hole through the table with his mind. Roxas doubted anything could break his concentration.

Axel, however, seemed distracted. He sat rather leisurely across from Roxas, in no way acknowledging the uncomfortable atmosphere. Though that was the thing about Axel, he never really got intimidated by authority. In all honesty, neither did Roxas, but when the "authority" was her father it did unease her a bit.

Axel's attention, though, was focused on the kitchen, at what Roxas couldn't tell. She started to turn to look when she saw Axel shake his head out of the corner of her eye.

"Don't look."

Roxas cocked a brow but dutifully followed Axel's advice. He was obviously waiting for something. And Roxas was a little surprised to realize she thought she knew what that look meant. She felt a smirk tug at her lips. Axel was exactly the same.

So why had Roxas changed?

It was an issue Roxas had mulled over many times in her life. She saw all her old team members, Sora's friends she'd known through his memories, none of them seemed any different. But Roxas, well except for the gender thing she wasn't really any different at all. Still it forced her to wonder, why was Roxas reborn a girl? Did Roxas do something wrong? Did she make a mistake somewhere? Not that there was anything wrong with being a girl mind you, but it was nevertheless a suspicious turn of events.

"Is that a tapir?"

It took a moment for everyone to process what Lexeaus had just said. Apparently Lexeaus had snuck in at some point during Roxas's musings. How a man that large was able to sneak around so well Roxas would never know. She, along with the rest of the occupants turned to stare at where Lexeaus was now standing by the window. He held the shades open partially and stood with a detached expression looking out onto the lawn.

Demyx, being closest to the window, bolted out of his seat and joined his former superior.

His face was screwed up with shock and perhaps a touch of excitement. "There's like three of them!"

By this time the occupants of the entire dining room had migrated to the window. Sure enough, Roxas saw three lone tapirs sniffing through their neighbor's bushes. She couldn't quite process exactly what she was seeing. What the hell were tapirs doing wandering the suburbs of Twilight town?

"There's an ostridge across the street." Lexeaus pointed out.

Roxas looked instinctively at Axel. It was more a reflex action than anything else. She didn't really think he had anything to do with this. Actually, she was almost sure there was no reason for Axel to unleash tapirs, and apparently an ostridge, on her cul-de-sac for any reason. But force of habit had taught her to look to Axel when something ridiculously out of the ordinary occurred.

Axel shot her a sideways glance, as if expecting an accusing glare, and smirked. "Like I did this."

Roxas shivered and turned away. "Whatever." She heard Axel chuckle lightly next to her. The warm shiver that ran down her spine was new and not entirely welcome. She hadn't had those tingling girl feeling before – when she was a Nobody – so this was a very new sensation. It felt pathetic to think this, but god she loved his smile. Always had. That whole cocky look about him was really attractive. Especially now, when she knew her feelings were real.

She also found comfort in the fact that Axel, like herself, had fallen back into the same routine just like before (barring the sex, unfortunately).

Xigbar was already on his cell, no doubt calling animal control. When he hung up he pocketed the phone and gave the rest of the group a peculiar look.

"They're from the zoo. Apparently there's been a massive breakout. Nearly all the animals have been released." Xigbar absently scratched the scar below his eye patch. "Cloud and Zack are out with the rest of the force, trying to contain them. I should go too."

Zexion finally found the situation interesting enough to close his book. "What do you mean "released"?"

Xigbar, who was already half way out the door, paused and turned back to the group. "I mean they were set free."

Everyone waited, including Xigbar. When he didn't elaborate it was Axel who spoke first.

"By who?"

Roxas, unable to contain herself, mumbled "By _whom_."

Axel smirked but otherwise ignored her, as did everyone else.

"We don't know." And with that Xigbar walked out of the house.

Xemnas, who had been oddly silent throughout this incident, remained near the window, watching Xigbar attempt to collect the uncooperative tapirs and usher them into his police vehicle.

Back in the kitchen, Roxas could hear the faint sound of Xaldin's curses as the stove erupted in flames.

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REVIEW? the more reviews/favorites i get the more i'm reminded that i need to work on this. seriously i updated this because i saw people review and favorite the story. so if you wanna read more of my shit, write detailed reviews. and favorite my stories. otherwise, dont i guess.

thanks for reading.


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